Trust me......
Epitaphs aren't as easy as I thought......especially about a ride like the one I just completed.
I got 20% done with it, when I killed the last bottle of wine, sooo.......
I'll have it out next week, promise. If I'm late with it, you can deduct from my grade......
It's gonna be long and boring, and that's not a promise, thass a threat!!
-E-
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Epitaph.....Part One: THANX!!
Shit.....how do I write this?
Considering that, in the six weeks since I've gotten home, I have had -
- several pub quizzes
-several nights catching up with people from my homeland (and I still haven't caught up wiff all of 'em yet)
-one shit-kicker stomach flu (brought by the Portlandia drought season's three days of 100+ degree temperatures)
- too many trips to the ocean
- ten days hangin with my mum (who flew out here from Buffalo)
- a week in Reno and Lake Tahoe
- spent time hunting for a job for the past four months and have a huge stack of rejection letters to show for it and nothing else....
- watched The Buffalo Bills go 4-0.....and then promptly collapse!!
......and I'm trying to return things back to normal here in The Hills of Cedar.........
....I sincerely apologise for the lateness of this communiqué.
So where do I start?
Let's start as to how it was done.
How was it done???
Honestly? I didn't do a Goddamm thing!!! The Helix did it ALL! And this entire trip....this entire story? I believe it is more about the people who made it possible, and there were a lot of 'em.....and I wanted to write all about these people. Because, otherwise, you're reduced to writing about fucking landscapes and weather patterns. Wow......I don't think I could handle the excitement in writing about things like that, and besides, taking fotograffs eliminates the work in having to come up with whimsical phrases and droll anecdotes to describe an approaching cold front or a hill, sooo......
.....there's NO WAY in highest hell that it would have EVER gotten done if it weren't for the help of a lot of souls.......there's a lot of people to whom I owe a great debt, and I would like to thank, so let's go chronologically.....
******************************************
Starting out, let's begin with Action Motor Sports in Gresham, Oregon. Yeah, I wasn't terribly pleased with the grand total of the tab I paid, but they gutted the Helix, ran it through a severe once-over, and put it back together.........
......and, 'cause of them, I was not stuck on the side of the road until literally ten thousand miles later (and even then, a clutch is gonna go eventually....mine just happened to last longer! And they weren't supposed to check the clutch anyways.). Great job, guys......
Here's thee big thing about Action Motor Sports, though. A year or so ago, I was looking for routine service on The Helix. I had phoned two official Honda dealers in the Portland Area. At the first one in the Western suburbs of Portland, which is owned by a guy who likes to stick his nose and his wallet into local politics, the service person told me - "Uhhh....yeah. We generally don't work on older bikes....uhhh...."
"Oh? Why not?"
"Uhhh.....welllll.....uhhh, they're tough to get parts for"
"Oh, well, it IS a Honda, and being an official dealership, I'd imagine that, worst case scenario, you'd have 'em shipped in!"
"Errrmmm.......yeah....well, it's just that....uhhh.....well, we have done service on them, then we end up with the owners abandoning them on us, and we get stuck with these older bikes, sooo......."
******************************************
Shit.....how do I write this?
Considering that, in the six weeks since I've gotten home, I have had -
- several pub quizzes
-several nights catching up with people from my homeland (and I still haven't caught up wiff all of 'em yet)
-one shit-kicker stomach flu (brought by the Portlandia drought season's three days of 100+ degree temperatures)
- too many trips to the ocean
- ten days hangin with my mum (who flew out here from Buffalo)
- a week in Reno and Lake Tahoe
- spent time hunting for a job for the past four months and have a huge stack of rejection letters to show for it and nothing else....
- watched The Buffalo Bills go 4-0.....and then promptly collapse!!
......and I'm trying to return things back to normal here in The Hills of Cedar.........
....I sincerely apologise for the lateness of this communiqué.
So where do I start?
Let's start as to how it was done.
How was it done???
Honestly? I didn't do a Goddamm thing!!! The Helix did it ALL! And this entire trip....this entire story? I believe it is more about the people who made it possible, and there were a lot of 'em.....and I wanted to write all about these people. Because, otherwise, you're reduced to writing about fucking landscapes and weather patterns. Wow......I don't think I could handle the excitement in writing about things like that, and besides, taking fotograffs eliminates the work in having to come up with whimsical phrases and droll anecdotes to describe an approaching cold front or a hill, sooo......
.....there's NO WAY in highest hell that it would have EVER gotten done if it weren't for the help of a lot of souls.......there's a lot of people to whom I owe a great debt, and I would like to thank, so let's go chronologically.....
******************************************
Starting out, let's begin with Action Motor Sports in Gresham, Oregon. Yeah, I wasn't terribly pleased with the grand total of the tab I paid, but they gutted the Helix, ran it through a severe once-over, and put it back together.........
......and, 'cause of them, I was not stuck on the side of the road until literally ten thousand miles later (and even then, a clutch is gonna go eventually....mine just happened to last longer! And they weren't supposed to check the clutch anyways.). Great job, guys......
Here's thee big thing about Action Motor Sports, though. A year or so ago, I was looking for routine service on The Helix. I had phoned two official Honda dealers in the Portland Area. At the first one in the Western suburbs of Portland, which is owned by a guy who likes to stick his nose and his wallet into local politics, the service person told me - "Uhhh....yeah. We generally don't work on older bikes....uhhh...."
"Oh? Why not?"
"Uhhh.....welllll.....uhhh, they're tough to get parts for"
"Oh, well, it IS a Honda, and being an official dealership, I'd imagine that, worst case scenario, you'd have 'em shipped in!"
"Errrmmm.......yeah....well, it's just that....uhhh.....well, we have done service on them, then we end up with the owners abandoning them on us, and we get stuck with these older bikes, sooo......."
"Wow....really? So, like, people would bring in 1993 model bikes or older, and have.....let's say.....a brake job done on them, and abandon the bike on you guys? Whaaaaa? I don't get it. Unless you charged, like, $750 for a brake job or something like that......"
"Well....uhhhh......yeah......well, we've had a lot of older bikes dumped on us after we've serviced them, sooo....."
"Right, ya want me to buy a new skooter from you......got the picture. Yeah...thank you - bye!"
Called a second official Honda Dealership in far North Portland.....same thing.
Action Motor Sports was MORE than happy to work on The Helix.......THAT meant a lot to me....
******************************************
'Pitz and Beia. - West Hollywood, California.
'Pitz and Beia pretty much ensured that I ate like a porker and drank like hell. And this was WHILST THEY WERE IN THE PROCESS OF MOVING ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO NEW YORK CITY!!!
Most people??
"Ahhh....yeeaaah....uhhh.....it's not really a good time right now. We're moving across the country in less than two weeks, and things are kinda messed up right now, an'.....well, you know....."
NOT 'Pitz and Beia!!!
Souls to the end!!!!
YET STILL, after that hospitality, they'd again come into play later.....
******************************************
T.J. - Denver, Colorado
Ya know......I really have a tendency to bug people at the wrong times. Much like 'Pitz and Beia, T.J. had a lotta shit on his plate and still gave me the run of his home. He hadta leave town on a business trip and still said - "E, have at it! Jes' lock it up when you head out."
I've met and gotten to know a LOT of people during my tenure in Denver......pretty much, T is one of VERY few who will ALWAYS be there for you.....no questions asked. A soul if there ever was one.....
As are Taj and Susan The Danser......I am truly honoured to be a member of the Abundance League of Denver .....everybody has something to give....and everybody has a need.....and I'm a huge fan of how simple basic bartering in large quantities kills Capitalism!
******************************************
Will and Cindy, Leyland, Andra and Tyler - Edgewood, New Mexico
Will and Cindy.....
....Friends for life....
....I hope, even after eight straight days of dealing with the E.
Leyland, Andra and Tyler.....
Ya know, there's those people you meet for the first time, and you wonder - "What the fuck planet did these people hop off of??"
And then you get ta know them...
And then you begin to hang wiff them a bit....
And then you toss horse shoes wiff them.....
Honestly? Meeting Tyler (Leyland and Andra's son) on the first go, he seemed to really have his shit together.....
.....errrmm....
....still does.
More so than ANYONE I've met that's his age (19).
But dat's gotta say something about his upbringing.
His mum and pa?
Souls 'till the end!
Ya gotta understand the Geographic and Sociological differences when we all first met. Sorry!!! As much as I like to try to hide it and disdain it, I'll freely admit that I still gotta bit of NorthEastern arrogance inside me.
After a few sessions of hanging out over a few pints, I had discovered.....
.....you will never meet truer folk than Leyland and Andra!
Hang out with their extended families forra bit?????
You'll be asked to stay in their homes.
I miss you guys..............I really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I'll be back down there shortly......
....better yet, when the fuck ya'll comin' up 'round these parts???
I'd be honoured ta host ya!! And also be honoured to ride with you!!!
I also don't want to forget Downtown Scooter of Albuquerque. The Helix was feeling worn down and a bit dodgy by this point, and I was expecting to either be taken forra ride or, at the least, get a bit of a dropkick to the wallet. Naw, these guys (and girl) were genuine, truthful and very cheap. Did a bunch of adjustments, gave me a "state of the skooter" address, and The Helix ran fine!
******************************************
My Cousins: Barrys (Senior and Junior and Trey [Barry Quad is next, I'm certain]), Mary, Jenny, and Kelly - Katy, Texas
The hospitality, conversation, beer, food (all home cooked and probably thee best cuisine I'd had on the entire ride) and just sheer relaxation that my family had shown me during a three-day restful weekend in Suburban Houston was exactly what I had needed at that point. Too many long stretches, too much fun.....well.....it wears a guy down after a while, and I was not in the mood for, nor in any shape to, dance on tables. The Geography and timing didn't work out where I could catch up with my cousin Julie who is North of Dallas.....but I'll swing by soon......
Thanx so much, guys!! I owes ya!
******************************************
Chef Bill and the lovely Georgia - Tallahassee, Florida
(Though I had hit Tallahassee twice on the ride, and thus wrote two separate entries, the hyperlink on this goes to the entry that was one of thee top four weirdest and most fun evenings on the entire ride).
Wow......
I ALWAYS know that, whenever I hit Tallahassee, that -
A) - I will NOT be departing when I say I will be.
B) - Strange, fun events and hi-jinx are certain to follow and
C) - To quote a favourite saying of HRD: "No good can come of this....."
I know I can also count on -
A) - Crashing parties where my friends have an extremely vague connection to one of the invited guests, and may have heard of the host. And leaving at the end of the night in the pre-dawn hours after at least one person in our entourage has managed to offend an invited guest or even the host.
B) - Copious amounts of top shelf food and drink (flame-broiled chicken breasts and local microbrew.....not frozen hamburger patties and Hamm's) being offered to this weary traveler upon his arrival by Chef Bill and Georgia......
When you guys coming up to the Pacific Northwest, so I can show some appreciation for everything you've done for me??
******************************************
More Cousins: Danny, Paula and Deanna - Oldsmar, Florida
I NEVER fail to have a riot with Danny, Paula and Deanna. This trip was no exception. They presented me with luxurious accommodations, allowed me to grill my famous Chivetta's barbecue chicken breasts for them, chauffeured me all over the place, took me out for all I can eat crab legs, more La Fin du Monde, and a trip to the Oldsmar Tap House.....easily one of my top three microbrew pubs in America. I mean, ya gotta love a place where the proprietor (Tony) hands you, on the cuff, totally as his gift, a bottle of a special 17th anniversary edition Unibroue product that you might have a slight chance of locating in Montreal.....if you're lucky.
I miss you guys....git up here soon!!
******************************************
Mehala - Hollywood, Florida
A debt I can never repay, to an absolute angel of a girl. First off, after wanting to destroy all of Florida's highway system after a very fucked up and frustrating ride from Tampa Bay to Hollywood, Mehala comes to greet me at the front door of her pad with a freshly killed and grilled steak and a Corona. THEN introduces me to what would become probably one of my top two all time TV shows (a show in 2001 on FOX called Firefly - the other of the top two is Veronica Mars)....and then takes me out on what would be one of thee coolest adventures on this entire ride - kayaking on Biscayne Bay. Really wished I had bought a water-resistant disposable camera for that one......
******************************************
Ivanna and Jerry - Canton, Georgia
Souls to the core. Played shuttle driver for me back and fourth whilst The Helix was in the hospital for a new tyre.....accommodated me in their basement which was basically the lap of luxury......fed me like a porker as I got one day of badly needed rest. Though I only had time to hang for 24 hours, I DID manage to catch up with the entire family yet again a couple weeks later in Buffalo.
And....ya know?? I'm STILL wondering of Jerry ever found his keys......
Motorhome trip to the Pacific NorthWest is in order for you guys shortly, eh??
******************************************
Coqui and Mary - Virginia Beach, Virginia
Great home cooked food, delicious vino, and fascinating conversation from two of thee sweetest, most caring friends I have ever had the privilege to know, along with their two wonderful niños (Alejandra and Andres) and multiple gambling pets (Poker and Blackjack). Put it all together and that's why I always make Virginia Beach a stop whenever I'm anywhere near the Eastern Seaboard. Bless this family!
******************************************
Morseyboy and Kathy - Arlington, Virginia
Capital people in the Capital City. Whilst there for less than 24 hours, Morseyboy and Kathy fed me much quality vino, then proceeded to take me out all over the southern Capital District and get me a good night's sleep for a painful ride to Brooklyn the next morning (well....next afternoon, as the case was).
ALWAYS fun to catch up on the whereabouts of long lost friends with Morseyboy and to tell Kathy legendary stories of our delinquent youth. (It's always fun to do the latter....especially when you're in the very beginning of a very bizarre story from the glorious days of misspent youth....and then Morseyboy begins to realise what story you're leading to wiff this......and then you casually glance over and read the subtle, yet pained non-verbal facial expressions on Morseyboy of "Change the Goddamm topic NOW.....Jesus!! Fuck, do you really think I told Kathy about that???!!??"
******************************************
'Pitz and Beia Redux - Brooklyn, New York
Ya know.....I wear out my welcome with my hosts very easily....and rather rapidly. So, during the segment between Washington, D.C. and Montreal, P.Q., when I was offered lodging at 'Pitz and Beia's new crib in Brooklyn.....I was ecstatic!
Besides being two folks who I truly enjoy spending time around and talking to, this would give me a chance to FINALLY see a part of New York City BESIDES Manhattan (I'd been to NYC about 13 times between 1988 and 1993....ALL of which were spent on the island of Manhattan).
But this was after 'Pitz and Beia had BARELY gotten settled in to their digs! I mean, they had arrived in New York on a plane just a few weeks before I got there after selling EVERYTHING THEY HAVE (including their car.....which only makes sense for New York City, actually) and just planning to re-accquire what they truly need later on.
I mean, I dunno about most people....but it takes me a good month or two or so to really be set up in a place. But 'Pitz and Beia were unfazed and really didn't care.....they were just glad to have me over at their place during this segment of the ride.
I literally don't know ANYBODY, who, in basically the middle of moving accross the country, would extend an offer like that to me.
That's why they're two of thee most amazing people I know.......and it was just hangin out with them that really made L.A. and New York probably my two favourite stops on this trip. Hell.....literally?? I coulda cared less if I had never even set foot out the door......
'Pitz......Beia.......ya need a rainforest vacation! Git up here now!
******************************************
This is Part One of my acknowledgements - Ppart two coming up in a couple days....
-E-
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Final Geography Lessons....
Now, if we refer back to Geography Lesson Part Trois, we can see how many miles E logged up until Montreal, PQ....where he had rode 7738 miles to that point....
Segment four takes us from Montreal, into New York State thru the towns of Pulaski, Wilson, Buffalo and Niagara Falls. Then, a round trip from Niagara Falls to Kincardine, Ontario, Canada and back, then outward to Michigan and ending at Arlington, South Dakota....
Tack on 2261 miles for this jaunt.....therefore, we are NOW at 9999 miles total.
And, finally......
....the ride HOME:
This puts another 2368 miles on the total mileage.....
....and there it is.
12,368 miles rode on a Honda CN250 skooter.
Not all of those miles were pleasant......but, honestly?
....most of them were....
Epitaph coming up in a few days (like, when I get my Internet installed on Saturday!!).
-E-
Now, if we refer back to Geography Lesson Part Trois, we can see how many miles E logged up until Montreal, PQ....where he had rode 7738 miles to that point....
Segment four takes us from Montreal, into New York State thru the towns of Pulaski, Wilson, Buffalo and Niagara Falls. Then, a round trip from Niagara Falls to Kincardine, Ontario, Canada and back, then outward to Michigan and ending at Arlington, South Dakota....
Tack on 2261 miles for this jaunt.....therefore, we are NOW at 9999 miles total.
And, finally......
....the ride HOME:
This puts another 2368 miles on the total mileage.....
....and there it is.
12,368 miles rode on a Honda CN250 skooter.
Not all of those miles were pleasant......but, honestly?
....most of them were....
Epitaph coming up in a few days (like, when I get my Internet installed on Saturday!!).
-E-
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Days Ninety Eight and Ninety Nine.....
Thee last night......
.....in a motel room on this ride is at hand.
I can't count Rockaway beach as the last night in a motel room on this trip, as I'm staying at The Sea Haven motel....and Jeff and Maureen (the owners) I consider friends.....and it sure doesn't feel like any and every room I've lived out of on this adventure. It feels like simply the place I stay at whenever I go to Rockaway Beach. It's NOT an impersonal-feeling sorta place at all is what I'm trying to say......thass all.....
So this is it......no more strange motel/hotel rooms on this adventure.....
Living outta a hotel or motel room pretty much sucks as it is (well....OK...I think it sucks, my sister and several other folks would probably beg to differ, depending on the hotel, but still....). But living outta multiple hotel and motel rooms that you have to change every night and then find a new one in a new town.....well, I found that that REALLY sucks.
Glad to see that back of that and finally sleep in my own bed (dunno if my cats will still sleep at my feel when I return.....think that they may be pissed off with me......).
Left Brigham City Wednesday Morning and hit Ontario, Oregon about six-and-a-half hours and 345 miles later. Southern Idaho is always pleasant in August (which, by total coincidence, is the only month I have ever been in Southern Idaho.....dunno why, exactly....) with 105 degree temperatures and the ever-so-lovely "hair-dryer-effect" wind (put a hair dryer on "high" about four inches from your face or arm and you'll understand what I'm talking about). Compounding this was a severe traffic jam caused by road construction on I-84 in a rapidly growing city during rush hour, several overheated cars (The Helix even got to five on the 1-to-8 engine temperature scale).....and it just sucked.
Had to take thee most beeline, direct path from Denver to Rockaway Beach due to time constraints. Sadly, in violation of the rules I had set for this adventure, this direct path happened to be Interstate 84.....not a particularly scenic ride at all......but it got me where I needed to be within the time parameters, sooo......
Grabbed a really nice motel room in Ontario (that Buannan told me to get) for, like, $44. For some reason, after the ride, I was craving ice cream. Asked the kind older gent at the front desk where in Ontario I could grab a decent ice cream cone. Sadly, he didn't know as he wasn't familiar with the area and had recently relocated to Ontario......
.....five minutes later, he comes by and gives me, on the cuff, a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.....
.....I realised then, that I must be in Oregon.
Life began to return to normal.....
Swung by a pub where I could enjoy Newcastle Brown and Export A Greens INSIDE the bar together......it was nice to savor the first drink back in Oregon.
Left Ontario with the intention of reaching The Dalles. Made it no problem.....292 miles and about five hours later. Had average-tasting Chinese food in absurdly-sized portions at a local restaurant, and dreamed of the day that I'd return to Chinatown and Thai Roses....both just outside of Beaverton.....and both easily my favourite Asian restaurants ANYWHERE!
Found a coupon for a Super 8 at the absurd price of sixty buxx.....but given that any clean motel in The Dalles started at $89.00 a night.....and that from multiple reviews I've read about the motels in The Dalles for under $65.00.....well.....it's my last motel night.......why the hell not stay somewhere fairly clean??
Rockaway Beach tomorrow.......and a few days after that, I'll write an epitaph about this entire experience as well as give you the final Geography lessons regarding this adventure.
-E-
Thee last night......
.....in a motel room on this ride is at hand.
I can't count Rockaway beach as the last night in a motel room on this trip, as I'm staying at The Sea Haven motel....and Jeff and Maureen (the owners) I consider friends.....and it sure doesn't feel like any and every room I've lived out of on this adventure. It feels like simply the place I stay at whenever I go to Rockaway Beach. It's NOT an impersonal-feeling sorta place at all is what I'm trying to say......thass all.....
So this is it......no more strange motel/hotel rooms on this adventure.....
Living outta a hotel or motel room pretty much sucks as it is (well....OK...I think it sucks, my sister and several other folks would probably beg to differ, depending on the hotel, but still....). But living outta multiple hotel and motel rooms that you have to change every night and then find a new one in a new town.....well, I found that that REALLY sucks.
Glad to see that back of that and finally sleep in my own bed (dunno if my cats will still sleep at my feel when I return.....think that they may be pissed off with me......).
Left Brigham City Wednesday Morning and hit Ontario, Oregon about six-and-a-half hours and 345 miles later. Southern Idaho is always pleasant in August (which, by total coincidence, is the only month I have ever been in Southern Idaho.....dunno why, exactly....) with 105 degree temperatures and the ever-so-lovely "hair-dryer-effect" wind (put a hair dryer on "high" about four inches from your face or arm and you'll understand what I'm talking about). Compounding this was a severe traffic jam caused by road construction on I-84 in a rapidly growing city during rush hour, several overheated cars (The Helix even got to five on the 1-to-8 engine temperature scale).....and it just sucked.
Had to take thee most beeline, direct path from Denver to Rockaway Beach due to time constraints. Sadly, in violation of the rules I had set for this adventure, this direct path happened to be Interstate 84.....not a particularly scenic ride at all......but it got me where I needed to be within the time parameters, sooo......
Grabbed a really nice motel room in Ontario (that Buannan told me to get) for, like, $44. For some reason, after the ride, I was craving ice cream. Asked the kind older gent at the front desk where in Ontario I could grab a decent ice cream cone. Sadly, he didn't know as he wasn't familiar with the area and had recently relocated to Ontario......
.....five minutes later, he comes by and gives me, on the cuff, a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.....
.....I realised then, that I must be in Oregon.
Life began to return to normal.....
Swung by a pub where I could enjoy Newcastle Brown and Export A Greens INSIDE the bar together......it was nice to savor the first drink back in Oregon.
Left Ontario with the intention of reaching The Dalles. Made it no problem.....292 miles and about five hours later. Had average-tasting Chinese food in absurdly-sized portions at a local restaurant, and dreamed of the day that I'd return to Chinatown and Thai Roses....both just outside of Beaverton.....and both easily my favourite Asian restaurants ANYWHERE!
Found a coupon for a Super 8 at the absurd price of sixty buxx.....but given that any clean motel in The Dalles started at $89.00 a night.....and that from multiple reviews I've read about the motels in The Dalles for under $65.00.....well.....it's my last motel night.......why the hell not stay somewhere fairly clean??
Rockaway Beach tomorrow.......and a few days after that, I'll write an epitaph about this entire experience as well as give you the final Geography lessons regarding this adventure.
-E-
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Day Ninety Seven....
Inching my way home......
Nothing of any importance today. Left Vernal, Utah around noon-thirty and took an easy, uneventful 240-mile ride to Brigham City, Utah. Woulda been 227 miles had I actually paid attention and caught the I-215 North Bypass around Salt Lake City......
Woulda continued onwards, except for that there is literally nothing (to the best of my memory from all those Denver-Portland road trips I took a few years ago) between Brigham City, Utah and Twin Falls, Idaho.....plus it woulda been another 170 miles between these two points, sooo......
Brigham City was nothing special. Got a skummy HoJo's room for $46 and went out and had a killer steak and onions at the Maddox Ranch House with corn on the cob, salad, corn bread and all for less than $25 (incd. tax and tip)! Had Utah ice cream later on which was ass-kicking.....since the Utah Church bans gambling, pre-marital sex (and, in some sects of the Utah Church, post-marital sex. This policy has been named by Church Elders as "No sex for the sects"), the use of alcohol, tobacco, and tea.....these folks hafta have SOME sort of vice.
And thus, they do ice cream veeeerrry well. Most places in this state make it themselves....probably the second best ice cream behind that in the Eastern New York/Vermont/Quebec area (sorry, Oregon......ice cream in the Beaver State is good.....but not THIS good).
Stuffed....tired....I'm heading off to bed.
340 miles tomorrow to Ontario, Oregon.
Wheeee..........
-E-
P.S. - if anyone is gonna head over to Rockaway Beach Friday and/or Saturday and stay overnight, please lemme know definitively.....I got one extra motel room in the bag and if there are more folks coming, I'll work on snagging one or two more if I can.
Inching my way home......
Nothing of any importance today. Left Vernal, Utah around noon-thirty and took an easy, uneventful 240-mile ride to Brigham City, Utah. Woulda been 227 miles had I actually paid attention and caught the I-215 North Bypass around Salt Lake City......
Woulda continued onwards, except for that there is literally nothing (to the best of my memory from all those Denver-Portland road trips I took a few years ago) between Brigham City, Utah and Twin Falls, Idaho.....plus it woulda been another 170 miles between these two points, sooo......
Brigham City was nothing special. Got a skummy HoJo's room for $46 and went out and had a killer steak and onions at the Maddox Ranch House with corn on the cob, salad, corn bread and all for less than $25 (incd. tax and tip)! Had Utah ice cream later on which was ass-kicking.....since the Utah Church bans gambling, pre-marital sex (and, in some sects of the Utah Church, post-marital sex. This policy has been named by Church Elders as "No sex for the sects"), the use of alcohol, tobacco, and tea.....these folks hafta have SOME sort of vice.
And thus, they do ice cream veeeerrry well. Most places in this state make it themselves....probably the second best ice cream behind that in the Eastern New York/Vermont/Quebec area (sorry, Oregon......ice cream in the Beaver State is good.....but not THIS good).
Stuffed....tired....I'm heading off to bed.
340 miles tomorrow to Ontario, Oregon.
Wheeee..........
-E-
P.S. - if anyone is gonna head over to Rockaway Beach Friday and/or Saturday and stay overnight, please lemme know definitively.....I got one extra motel room in the bag and if there are more folks coming, I'll work on snagging one or two more if I can.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Day Ninety Six.....
I haf no time left.....
WAS planning an early morning wake up and then a cab ride to the skooter hospital to grab the Helix, brekker, and then out the door and on the road at eight-thirty or nine AM at the dead latest this fine Monday Morning in the Mile High City.
The Mexican and The Korean put a halt to the best laid plans.....
I HAD planned to have a couple mellow pints with them sometime Sunday Afternoon and then return to my Cherry Creek lodging, where I'd write a bit.....watch TV a bit.... read, and just generally vege and git to sleep reasonable early.
Ahhhh.......
......no.
Ended up that The Mexican swung by the lodgings and picked me up around 6PM. He then stated that we were going to return to his compound in the Baker* Barrio to partake in a $30 buy-in Texas Hold 'em tournament. I was reluctant, as A) - I did wanna git to sleep kinda early and B) - I absolutely suck at Hold 'Em poker.
Well, I went along. At a tourney of nine, I think I somehow lucked out to the point where I DID outlast two other people. Seventh Place generally doesn't pay out anything amongst nine players, though......
The Korean joined us later and acted as all-time dealer ('cause I can't shuffle or dole out cards very well at all if my life depended on it!!!!). Several pints and several hours later, the match ended. It was then determined by my friends that we, The Mexican, The Korean, The White Chick and your blog author, would then proceed to a pub called "Don's Tavern" on Sixth Avenue in good ole' Capital Hill (an area I had resided in for many moons) for an after-match debriefing.
Now, I'd never been inside Don's before. I'd walked past it thousands of times, where the front neon sign only said - "Don's Club Tavern - Mixed Drinks" and that was all that was on the front facade!
I had always wanted to go and have not a pint, but rather a mixed drink inside Don's. That neon sign just held sooooo much power of suggestion with just five words!!!
So, I grabbed a mixed drink....a very yummy gin and tonic.....
......actually, I grabbed a few of 'em.
The Korean dropped me off back at the lodgings in Cherry Creek at some ungodly hour (I do remember that we closed Don's Club Tavern), and I went straight to bed......simply DREADING when that alarm was gonna go off in, like, three-and-a-half hours!
Turns out that I needn't have dreaded, as when the son of a bitch did blare it's painful cacophony of buzzers and rubbish 70's music at 120 decibels, I just hit snooze.
Thirty minutes later, the cacophony returned......
.....so did the snooze button.
I can't remember what happened after that. Think yet again, a half-hour later, it went off again. And I think I was in so much pain that I just fucking lost it on the third time, grabbed the plug, pulled it outta the wall, and left the clock-radio in the trash bin.
Errrmmm......NOT conducive to an early start, then.
Natural Time woke me gently at around 10:30am. It was gently for a moment.....
.....I started heaving under my breath - "Holy shit....holy shit.....holy shit.....and I still hafta pack, shower, eat brekker and take a cab to fetch my skooter! Oh nooo....OH NO OH NO OH nooooo....."
Did all that and ended up leaving Denver around 12:45PM.......
I then thought to myself that I had ONE saving grace - that today was gonna be kinda an easy ride....185 miles to Craig, Colorado.
HOWEVER.....I got to Craig, and then screamed at myself - "No, man.....nuh-uh!! You gotta plug at least 300+ miles today. E, man, you gotta be in Rockaway by 3pm Friday, for Chrissakes!!!"
Not being aware of the geological and economic conditions in the region, I made a horrific screw-up.........
....I had decided to do another 130 miles to Vernal, Utah.
I got into Vernal (it's the place where the Vernal Equinox was invented) at around 8PM Monday Night and swung by a Days Inn.
No rooms available.
The very nice girl at the front desk kindly gave me a telephone book. I called EVERY Hotel and Motel in a 75 mile radius.......
No rooms available.
This was looking veeeerrrrry dodgy! I was literally looking at doing another 175 miles to Salt Lake in the dark on a veeerrryy rural road. Either that, or sleeping on a park bench.
Apparently, referring to the aforementioned geological and economic conditions of the region, Vernal is surrounded by a huge tract of land that sits on thee largest dinosaur fossil field in the U.S.!!
Old dinosaur fossils in abundance mean OIL!!! NATURAL GAS!!! OIL SHALE!!! And the town took advantage of $140+/barrel oil prices and EVERY room within a 75-mile radius of Vernal between Sunday and Thursday Nights is filled with roughneck oil-field contract workers!!!
After 45 minutes of foning EVERY Hotel and Motel anywhere near Vernal, the girl at the front desk at the Days Inn took pity on me.
"Well...I DO have ONE room, but the electronic lock is all messed up!! I can break in and rent it to you tonight. You just can't close the door when you leave the room........"
"Ooooooh man! Hell YES! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!"
"OK....great, I'll go break in, open the room, and you'll be set. That'll be $101.65, please."
"Uhhhhh.....do you have a Triple-A discount or something......"
"I'm sorry, that is THEE very lowest rate that the computer will let me do...."
My jaw hit the floor so hard that it left an indentation! WTF????
Considering it was that or the park bench OR the 175-mile ride in pitch blackness on a very rural highway......I took the room.
Big Oil fucks the lone traveler once again!! And THIS time, it wasn't even at the pump!!!
Jesus......
Stopped at a beer house in Vernal forra couple pints, then bought a six'er to go, as they shut the pub down at 9:30pm (????!!??). I'm not a big fan of Wasatch products (they really don't taste that great, actually)....but their labels keep me coming back for more and more -
And, as the label of Polygamy Porter asks - "Why have just one?"
Well, believe me, after getting shafted for a hundred buxx for a severe dirtbag motel room, I WILL be taking more than just one!
Brigham City tomorrow....Oh, my heck!!
-E-
*Baker is a neighbourhood in West Denver
I haf no time left.....
WAS planning an early morning wake up and then a cab ride to the skooter hospital to grab the Helix, brekker, and then out the door and on the road at eight-thirty or nine AM at the dead latest this fine Monday Morning in the Mile High City.
The Mexican and The Korean put a halt to the best laid plans.....
I HAD planned to have a couple mellow pints with them sometime Sunday Afternoon and then return to my Cherry Creek lodging, where I'd write a bit.....watch TV a bit.... read, and just generally vege and git to sleep reasonable early.
Ahhhh.......
......no.
Ended up that The Mexican swung by the lodgings and picked me up around 6PM. He then stated that we were going to return to his compound in the Baker* Barrio to partake in a $30 buy-in Texas Hold 'em tournament. I was reluctant, as A) - I did wanna git to sleep kinda early and B) - I absolutely suck at Hold 'Em poker.
Well, I went along. At a tourney of nine, I think I somehow lucked out to the point where I DID outlast two other people. Seventh Place generally doesn't pay out anything amongst nine players, though......
The Korean joined us later and acted as all-time dealer ('cause I can't shuffle or dole out cards very well at all if my life depended on it!!!!). Several pints and several hours later, the match ended. It was then determined by my friends that we, The Mexican, The Korean, The White Chick and your blog author, would then proceed to a pub called "Don's Tavern" on Sixth Avenue in good ole' Capital Hill (an area I had resided in for many moons) for an after-match debriefing.
Now, I'd never been inside Don's before. I'd walked past it thousands of times, where the front neon sign only said - "Don's Club Tavern - Mixed Drinks" and that was all that was on the front facade!
I had always wanted to go and have not a pint, but rather a mixed drink inside Don's. That neon sign just held sooooo much power of suggestion with just five words!!!
So, I grabbed a mixed drink....a very yummy gin and tonic.....
......actually, I grabbed a few of 'em.
The Korean dropped me off back at the lodgings in Cherry Creek at some ungodly hour (I do remember that we closed Don's Club Tavern), and I went straight to bed......simply DREADING when that alarm was gonna go off in, like, three-and-a-half hours!
Turns out that I needn't have dreaded, as when the son of a bitch did blare it's painful cacophony of buzzers and rubbish 70's music at 120 decibels, I just hit snooze.
Thirty minutes later, the cacophony returned......
.....so did the snooze button.
I can't remember what happened after that. Think yet again, a half-hour later, it went off again. And I think I was in so much pain that I just fucking lost it on the third time, grabbed the plug, pulled it outta the wall, and left the clock-radio in the trash bin.
Errrmmm......NOT conducive to an early start, then.
Natural Time woke me gently at around 10:30am. It was gently for a moment.....
.....I started heaving under my breath - "Holy shit....holy shit.....holy shit.....and I still hafta pack, shower, eat brekker and take a cab to fetch my skooter! Oh nooo....OH NO OH NO OH nooooo....."
Did all that and ended up leaving Denver around 12:45PM.......
I then thought to myself that I had ONE saving grace - that today was gonna be kinda an easy ride....185 miles to Craig, Colorado.
HOWEVER.....I got to Craig, and then screamed at myself - "No, man.....nuh-uh!! You gotta plug at least 300+ miles today. E, man, you gotta be in Rockaway by 3pm Friday, for Chrissakes!!!"
Not being aware of the geological and economic conditions in the region, I made a horrific screw-up.........
....I had decided to do another 130 miles to Vernal, Utah.
I got into Vernal (it's the place where the Vernal Equinox was invented) at around 8PM Monday Night and swung by a Days Inn.
No rooms available.
The very nice girl at the front desk kindly gave me a telephone book. I called EVERY Hotel and Motel in a 75 mile radius.......
No rooms available.
This was looking veeeerrrrry dodgy! I was literally looking at doing another 175 miles to Salt Lake in the dark on a veeerrryy rural road. Either that, or sleeping on a park bench.
Apparently, referring to the aforementioned geological and economic conditions of the region, Vernal is surrounded by a huge tract of land that sits on thee largest dinosaur fossil field in the U.S.!!
Old dinosaur fossils in abundance mean OIL!!! NATURAL GAS!!! OIL SHALE!!! And the town took advantage of $140+/barrel oil prices and EVERY room within a 75-mile radius of Vernal between Sunday and Thursday Nights is filled with roughneck oil-field contract workers!!!
After 45 minutes of foning EVERY Hotel and Motel anywhere near Vernal, the girl at the front desk at the Days Inn took pity on me.
"Well...I DO have ONE room, but the electronic lock is all messed up!! I can break in and rent it to you tonight. You just can't close the door when you leave the room........"
"Ooooooh man! Hell YES! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!"
"OK....great, I'll go break in, open the room, and you'll be set. That'll be $101.65, please."
"Uhhhhh.....do you have a Triple-A discount or something......"
"I'm sorry, that is THEE very lowest rate that the computer will let me do...."
My jaw hit the floor so hard that it left an indentation! WTF????
Considering it was that or the park bench OR the 175-mile ride in pitch blackness on a very rural highway......I took the room.
Big Oil fucks the lone traveler once again!! And THIS time, it wasn't even at the pump!!!
Jesus......
Stopped at a beer house in Vernal forra couple pints, then bought a six'er to go, as they shut the pub down at 9:30pm (????!!??). I'm not a big fan of Wasatch products (they really don't taste that great, actually)....but their labels keep me coming back for more and more -
And, as the label of Polygamy Porter asks - "Why have just one?"
Well, believe me, after getting shafted for a hundred buxx for a severe dirtbag motel room, I WILL be taking more than just one!
Brigham City tomorrow....Oh, my heck!!
-E-
*Baker is a neighbourhood in West Denver
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Days Eighty Nine thru Ninety Five....
Where was me, then......??
Right.
Reno.
Nice, spacious, mellow Amtrak ride into Reno. Train pulled up into the newly undergrounded station around 1:30pm Sunday afternoon. (The train tracks actually now run underneath the city. In the past [up until 2006], they were at street grade level and they actually ran dead through the heart of the Virginia Street tourist area. There was nothing more fun than hearing a freight train blare its whistle at 3AM directly underneath your hotel room).
Weird....this is thee closest I've been to Oregon in months.....yet, my skooter remains in hospital 1000 miles to the East.
Walk the two blocks from Amtrak to Fitzie's (Fitzgerald's......I'll almost always stay at Fitzie's or The Sands Regency when in Reno), grabbed my room and took a nap. My mum wasn't slated to swing into town until 11:00pm Monday....soooo.....
Woke up, went to the casino downstairs, played slots, drank pints and crawled into bed at 3AM. Thass one thing I really enjoy about Nevada as opposed to, say, Colorado, Niagara Falls Ontario, Washington State, or several other places – They DO NOT cut off the pints at 2AM (or sooner, in a lot of places....AND, in some of the places mentioned above, they close the whole fucking casino at 2:00AM!!!!!)....thus, you DO NOT feel rushed when playing......makes for a significantly more relaxed gambling and drink experience.....
Monday, woke up, found that I had zero ca$h and only a bunch of credit and debit cards.....so no brekker at The Nugget casino and diner (GREAT food....it IS where I eat when in Reno) 'cause they do ca$h only. Went to a Credit Union, deposited some cheques, fetched my rental car at Reno-Tahoe International, and went and had lunch instead at a Thai restaurant. Pad Thai.....good stuff....
Mum flew in at 11PM, was ecstatic to be back in Reno, and we went back to Fitzie's.
Hung in Reno for two days where I never once had seen a clock.......serious time warp. A city consisting basically of gambling and alcohol......a perfect marriage in the divorce centre of America. All track of time and space is lost here.....
Broke out of that on Wednesday, when we went up to Lake Tahoe. I really was captivated by the Geographic beauty of the area and thought about returning sometime shortly to go camping there. Couldn't stand the weird, shi-shi, pretentious attitude of the casinos in Stateline, Nevada, on the South Shore of Lake Tahoe. Shit, one casino, Harvey's, had a Goddamm jewelry store inside it. Montbleu Casino was obnoxious in the way that it's thee place to go and to be seen. Trendy dance music blaring throughout the entire casino.....it's the place I woulda really gotten into about 15 years ago somewhere on The Bowery or in Toronto or in Los Angeles or on Rue Sainte-Catherine in Montreal.......but now, that entire type of atmosphere just bugs the living shite outta me....
My mum, however, was enchanted by both, the Geographic beauty as well as the casino scene in Lake Tahoe. Thus, she made the determination to extend both of our flights and stay in Tahoe and Reno an extra few days until Saturday.
I was not terribly into this idea, as I had very little spare time left to act as a cushion should anything happen dring the Denver - Rockaway Beach final leg of this adventure......plus, I was getting to the point where if I had seen one more dice table or slot machine, I was gonna throw up.....but I wasn't totally averse to the idea either, as I had bought this flight as my mum's birthday gift....and she was having an amazing time, soooo........
Whilst in Tahoe, I saw The Dark Knight. Now, generally, I do not run out and go see hyper-hyped-up films that are awarded sainthood by the major media outlets. However, there IS only so much drinking and gambling that one can do before it begins to seem like work, soooo......
.....it was worth it.
Normally, I am very skeptical about overblown movies and their glorious reviews an' shit.....but man, does Heath Ledger give the acting performance of a lifetime! Christ......watching his character was just chilling.
The screenplay wasn't very well written, and it tried too hard to press upon the audience the shades of gray in morality and right. But shit, if I really wanted to see that, I coulda rented Blade Runner and bought a six pack and stayed at home (and seen a film with a lot better screenplay). I also felt that Christian Bale really should do something about that bad over-acting problem of his and his attempt to put on a fake voice that sounds like he'd just got done smoking 25 packs of unfiltered Camels in the last two hours......but overall.....yeah.....it's easily worth the dropping of nine buxx on Heath Ledger's performance alone. It almost makes me want to go out and rent Brokeback Mountain, since I've never seen it before....
Also did a job interview in bed via telephone Friday Morning around 9AM. These folks apparently were in a severe rush to interview, and, when I had explained to them that there was dead zero chance that I could physically be present for said interview, they were very kind to interview me by phone, sooo........
.....all job interviews should be done in bed by telephone. It removes the nervous tension associated with job interviews!!
Flew outta Reno-Tahoe International Saturday afternoon, got into Denver Sunday Night, and stayed at a hotel in Cherry Creek for two nights that I got on Priceline for, like, thirty-five buxx a night plus taxes. Had a LOT of friends in and around Denver offering to put me up, but the Geographic location of this place only made sense since I had no wheels, neither two nor four of them, and this place wasn't really far from DIA (Denver International Airport), was close to the skooter hospital (giving me an EARLY START OUT Monday Morning), and it was a place where I could be alone, drink vino, and smoke Export A greens, and write.....
Reno – Tahoe was neat all in all. The only three casualties were my mum losing her wallet (NO ca$h lost....just a coupla credit cards and her ID......a LOT of fun watching her get interrogated for half-an-hour at the airport by the TSA before they'd let her git on the flight home to Buffalo), spilling coke on her cell fone (which is fatal, as, had it been tap water, it'd be just fine when it dried out, but Coke, as we all know, is a corrosive agent, so that was fatal.....fortunately, it was a very base, easy-to-use Samsung t219....not like a Blackberry or some shit like that), and the final casualty was the time factor for me.....which now dictates that I gotta gun 300-plus miles a day to make the end-of-tour party on Friday the 8th at Rockaway Beach.
No more easy rides from this point......
Home in Oregon on 8-8-08....
.....lucky day, say the Chinese....
.....guess it's only fitting......
-E-
Where was me, then......??
Right.
Reno.
Nice, spacious, mellow Amtrak ride into Reno. Train pulled up into the newly undergrounded station around 1:30pm Sunday afternoon. (The train tracks actually now run underneath the city. In the past [up until 2006], they were at street grade level and they actually ran dead through the heart of the Virginia Street tourist area. There was nothing more fun than hearing a freight train blare its whistle at 3AM directly underneath your hotel room).
Weird....this is thee closest I've been to Oregon in months.....yet, my skooter remains in hospital 1000 miles to the East.
Walk the two blocks from Amtrak to Fitzie's (Fitzgerald's......I'll almost always stay at Fitzie's or The Sands Regency when in Reno), grabbed my room and took a nap. My mum wasn't slated to swing into town until 11:00pm Monday....soooo.....
Woke up, went to the casino downstairs, played slots, drank pints and crawled into bed at 3AM. Thass one thing I really enjoy about Nevada as opposed to, say, Colorado, Niagara Falls Ontario, Washington State, or several other places – They DO NOT cut off the pints at 2AM (or sooner, in a lot of places....AND, in some of the places mentioned above, they close the whole fucking casino at 2:00AM!!!!!)....thus, you DO NOT feel rushed when playing......makes for a significantly more relaxed gambling and drink experience.....
Monday, woke up, found that I had zero ca$h and only a bunch of credit and debit cards.....so no brekker at The Nugget casino and diner (GREAT food....it IS where I eat when in Reno) 'cause they do ca$h only. Went to a Credit Union, deposited some cheques, fetched my rental car at Reno-Tahoe International, and went and had lunch instead at a Thai restaurant. Pad Thai.....good stuff....
Mum flew in at 11PM, was ecstatic to be back in Reno, and we went back to Fitzie's.
Hung in Reno for two days where I never once had seen a clock.......serious time warp. A city consisting basically of gambling and alcohol......a perfect marriage in the divorce centre of America. All track of time and space is lost here.....
Broke out of that on Wednesday, when we went up to Lake Tahoe. I really was captivated by the Geographic beauty of the area and thought about returning sometime shortly to go camping there. Couldn't stand the weird, shi-shi, pretentious attitude of the casinos in Stateline, Nevada, on the South Shore of Lake Tahoe. Shit, one casino, Harvey's, had a Goddamm jewelry store inside it. Montbleu Casino was obnoxious in the way that it's thee place to go and to be seen. Trendy dance music blaring throughout the entire casino.....it's the place I woulda really gotten into about 15 years ago somewhere on The Bowery or in Toronto or in Los Angeles or on Rue Sainte-Catherine in Montreal.......but now, that entire type of atmosphere just bugs the living shite outta me....
My mum, however, was enchanted by both, the Geographic beauty as well as the casino scene in Lake Tahoe. Thus, she made the determination to extend both of our flights and stay in Tahoe and Reno an extra few days until Saturday.
I was not terribly into this idea, as I had very little spare time left to act as a cushion should anything happen dring the Denver - Rockaway Beach final leg of this adventure......plus, I was getting to the point where if I had seen one more dice table or slot machine, I was gonna throw up.....but I wasn't totally averse to the idea either, as I had bought this flight as my mum's birthday gift....and she was having an amazing time, soooo........
Whilst in Tahoe, I saw The Dark Knight. Now, generally, I do not run out and go see hyper-hyped-up films that are awarded sainthood by the major media outlets. However, there IS only so much drinking and gambling that one can do before it begins to seem like work, soooo......
.....it was worth it.
Normally, I am very skeptical about overblown movies and their glorious reviews an' shit.....but man, does Heath Ledger give the acting performance of a lifetime! Christ......watching his character was just chilling.
The screenplay wasn't very well written, and it tried too hard to press upon the audience the shades of gray in morality and right. But shit, if I really wanted to see that, I coulda rented Blade Runner and bought a six pack and stayed at home (and seen a film with a lot better screenplay). I also felt that Christian Bale really should do something about that bad over-acting problem of his and his attempt to put on a fake voice that sounds like he'd just got done smoking 25 packs of unfiltered Camels in the last two hours......but overall.....yeah.....it's easily worth the dropping of nine buxx on Heath Ledger's performance alone. It almost makes me want to go out and rent Brokeback Mountain, since I've never seen it before....
Also did a job interview in bed via telephone Friday Morning around 9AM. These folks apparently were in a severe rush to interview, and, when I had explained to them that there was dead zero chance that I could physically be present for said interview, they were very kind to interview me by phone, sooo........
.....all job interviews should be done in bed by telephone. It removes the nervous tension associated with job interviews!!
Flew outta Reno-Tahoe International Saturday afternoon, got into Denver Sunday Night, and stayed at a hotel in Cherry Creek for two nights that I got on Priceline for, like, thirty-five buxx a night plus taxes. Had a LOT of friends in and around Denver offering to put me up, but the Geographic location of this place only made sense since I had no wheels, neither two nor four of them, and this place wasn't really far from DIA (Denver International Airport), was close to the skooter hospital (giving me an EARLY START OUT Monday Morning), and it was a place where I could be alone, drink vino, and smoke Export A greens, and write.....
Reno – Tahoe was neat all in all. The only three casualties were my mum losing her wallet (NO ca$h lost....just a coupla credit cards and her ID......a LOT of fun watching her get interrogated for half-an-hour at the airport by the TSA before they'd let her git on the flight home to Buffalo), spilling coke on her cell fone (which is fatal, as, had it been tap water, it'd be just fine when it dried out, but Coke, as we all know, is a corrosive agent, so that was fatal.....fortunately, it was a very base, easy-to-use Samsung t219....not like a Blackberry or some shit like that), and the final casualty was the time factor for me.....which now dictates that I gotta gun 300-plus miles a day to make the end-of-tour party on Friday the 8th at Rockaway Beach.
No more easy rides from this point......
Home in Oregon on 8-8-08....
.....lucky day, say the Chinese....
.....guess it's only fitting......
-E-
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