Day Seventy Nine.....

Had already decided to pay for one more night.....

.....at The Capital Inn and Suites for Friday Night, as I had no idea when the Helix would be set to go. They did overnight the tyre, and said that parts delivery usually arrives between 10AM and 2PM. Figuring that, at thee best case scenario, it might be ready, at best case, around 4PM Friday, I figgered, screw it, I ain't leaving Pierre around five PM to git into Rapid City around, like, 9pm Friday Night!! So, I had assumed it'd be ready at least by Saturday Morning......

Wrong again .....

......the tyre came in first thing Friday AM and it was ready to ride at 1PM Friday!

Spoke with a totally, totally humourless guy at Dunlop Consumer Affairs who had the same tone of voice and speech patterns as Joe Friday did from Dragnet. I had simply explained to the guy how, exactly, if it hadn't been for my Team Oregon training, that I'd probably be dead due to Dunlop's defective tyre, and that I want all expenses reimbursed for this shit!!!

He then asked a few basic questions, and then requested that I have the technician at Petersen's Honda-Yamaha-SheepLemming fone him.

I knew the fucking score: Yepper.....claim that I wore the tyre into the ground, beyond warranty, yadda yadda yadda.......I knew what angle this wankshaft was playing at......Cracka, Pull-EEEEEZE!!!!

Picked it up Friday Afternoon at 3PM, and spoke with Ross Petersen, the owner of the dealership. He said "Nuh-Uh! Naw....sorry. Yeah, I'll call the guy and give him a veeerrry basic overview of what I saw on the bike and the tyre, but I ain't getting between you and Dunlop. Nah....."

This had happened before to me in Buffalo involving a purchase of a iffy used car from a very dodgy dealer. The dealer basically pasted a New York State Safety Inspection sticker on the windshield and sold me the car. It went to shit a few days later. I then went to an actual, official, Mitsubishi dealership, had them re-inspect the car, and they laffed at it. "No way in highest hell could this thing pass New York State inspection." the shop manager said.

But, just like Ross Petersen, he too said "Nuh-uh. Sorry...my technicians ain't going to court on ANYBODY'S side!"

Kinda pisses me off that car and motorcycle dealership owners pull that shit. Really selfish......but they'll be thee first to take your ca$h forra repair......

So, I'm still dancing around with Dunlop. Kept the defective tyre and ALL receipts (INCLUDING the place where I purchased the defective tyre at).,....so this will drag on a while.....



Anyways, got the Helix back, shipped the defective tyre off to a friend in Buffalo, and had one more night to kill in Pierre. Having nothing else to really do in a 13,000 person state capital, I stopped by the American Legion and had a couple pints on their patio on the banks of Missouri River. Afterwards, I walked into this weird-ass little pub that played BOTH kinds of music, Country AND Western. Except they kept playing the same songs over and fucking over!!! Like this one song about a Honky-Tonk badonkadonk and this other song about these guys hitting on some chick and comparing it to baseball. Literally....like, four times every hour!!

Christ......OK.....I'll watch bad TV instead or some shit back at the motel.....

Except, as I was playing Keno and sipping my final pint there, the bartender shouts out - "Wow....rain. Ooooh......"

I state - "Cool! Great! You good folks really need it!"

"Yes we do, Sir."

.......

Then, she asks - "What the heck's goin' on with that there wind, there......??"

"Huh?"

I walk over to her at the bar, look out the front door, and see one guy in the bar walk out the door into the partially-sheltered patio out front.

He comes back in 15 seconds later - DRENCHED!!

I literally cannot remember thee last time I had seen horizontal rain......

I then see small tree branches flying......

I then hear the bartender scream at me - "Git yer' bike and put it under the shelter NOW!"

Hmmm.....probably a good idea, I thought to myself.....

The Helix was about 55 feet away from the front door patio shelter.

I start to walk out to it, and within 10 seconds, I'm absolutely soaked to the bone! I then no longer walk.......I sprint.....

It's pitch-black outside, and I'm trying to jam the key into the ignition by feel, when, suddenly, I feel a knock to my head.....

First thought: "Oh for fuck's sake......WHY is somebody trying to rob me in this miniature hurricane???? In Pierre, South Dakota, no less??"

I then look down at my feet.....

....see a several ice pellets the size of quarters on the ground.

They too, much like the rain, were flying horizontally....

This was beginning to have "SUCK" written all over it.....

I finally git the key into the ignition, turn it on, and press the start button....






......it ain't starting.






After about 30 seconds of panicking, I realise that I didn't flick the lever from "off" to "run"...........

Flick it to "run", get it started, ride it into the front door shelter, and run back inside the pub, soaking wet. The bartender kindly hands me some towels......

....I was drenched to the point where the towels literally made no difference.


Then, I hear The Siren.......

....the fucking siren.

I ask one of the two patrons remaining at the pub - "Errrmm.....what do we do in here if there's a tornado......?"





.............






"Pray"





This was no longer beginning to have "SUCK" written all over it....


....at this point, it actually ALREADY DID have "SUCK" written all over it.



Fortunately, 45 minutes later, it all blew over with no tornado.

Ride back to The Capital Inn and Suites, and just died in bed, thankful that I DID order that extra night there. Had I left at 4PM Friday towards Rapid City....I'd have been in thee middle of that hailstorm in thee middle of nowhere with no pub to duck into......

Woke up to sunshine and 86 degrees Saturday Morning......and headed off to Rapid City.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sadly, given the Mackinac Bridge nightmare, almost dying on the road in the middle of nowhere due to a defective tyre, and barely escaping a storm spraying quarter-sized hail due to simple shear luck (they DID NOT forecast this storm coming) that I bought another night in the motel............

..............call me a chicken shit..........

............I've had enuff.


British Columbia makes no geographic sense right now, and my friend Gord in Kelowna, B.C. said he'd be coming down to Portlandia shortly anyways for the End-of-Tour Party.......and that I cannot get ahold of my friends in Seattle.......oh, and I'm also homesick as all fuck, soooo.....


....I'm going home!!!!!!



So here's the newly revised schedule -


JULY 19th thru JULY 21st - Rapid City, South Dakota

JULY 22rd thru JULY 23rd - Denver, Colorado (redux - Rockies vs. Dodgers)

JULY 27th thru JULY 31st - Reno, Nevada

AUGUST 2nd thru AUGUST 4th - Rockaway Beach, Oregon - End of tour party!

AUGUST 5th - Cedar Hills, Oregon - HOME!


The plan is set for some sort of small (or large) get-together/End-of-Tour thingy at Rockaway Beach.....

.....HOWEVER, it's now on the weekend of the 2nd!

Lemme know if you is into that idea......would love to sit on the beach and drink pints with anyone and everyone and be glad that I made it home safely....

-E-