Friday, July 25, 2008

Days Eighty Two thru Eighty Seven....

Things to do in Denver when You're (skooter is) Dead.....

Man, at least Odysseus' boat didn't die in Commerce City......

Left the uneventful evening in Sidney, Nebraska on Tuesday Morning the 22nd of July. Ready to hit the easy 163-mile ride into Denver, I cruised the backroads into Fort Morgan, Colorado, when I was forced to join up with Interstate 76 for the last 75 miles into Denver proper.

I was seriously psyched to see my Colorado Rockies play the Dodgers Tuesday Night AND Wednesday Afternoon before taking off from Denver Thursday Morning for the ride to Reno to meet my mum, as I had bought my mum a birthday present of a flight to Reno for July 28th, and I had planned to meet her there!


Got into Commerce City, Colorado, about five miles outside of Denver, and thought to myself - "Breeeeze.....almost in! Hit TJ's and I'm set and me, Darryn, and T will be at Coors Field in no time"!!!


"Hmmm......The Helix is making a weird noise.....kinda like a whining sound......errmm......"

", the engine is roaring beautifully......but the skooter does NOT appear to be progressing forward......hmmm......"

Well, The Helix revved beautifully.....but there was a lack of communication between the engine and the drivetrain.

EVENTUALLY got AAA to come rescue me from the 105-degree heat/no-shade area and get The Helix JUST BEFORE 6PM (when they locked the doors) to a Honda service centre on East Colfax and Quebec iin Denver. THANK CHRIST we barely made it on time. These guys were severe douche bags, and I foned them twice, and they were ADAMANT that they are all out the fucking door at 5:59:59pm.....ZERO exceptions!

If you know ANYTHING about Denver, you DO NOT leave ANYTHING of even REMOTE value sitting out overnight on East Colfax!!!!!!


I had just about given up. I had made the decision that if the tab for the repairs went over five bills.....then I was gonna sign the title over to the Honda service centre, tell 'em to enjoy their new Helix, and grab a one-way flight to Reno, then a one-way flight to Portlandia and call it a trip.

The technician foned me up the next morning.....rear clutch bearing was fried, front clutch bearing was on life-support, and it really could use a new drive belt.

"$Four-Sixty-Two.....oh, and it IS a kinda rare the parts won't be here until Tuesday the 29th."

Aw fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Fine.....go ahead and do it!"

"Want us to overnight the parts??"

"Naw, that will have me fixed and ready to head to Reno on Saturday Morning.....and I ain't doing three 400-mile-a-day rides to git to Reno by Monday the 28th.....that defeats the entire point of this adventure! Take your time......"

"OK....great....have it ready for ya Wednesday the 30th."

So, got a one-way Amtrak ticket to Reno (LOOOVE the train!) for Saturday Morning and a one-way flight back to Denver on the 31st.

Riding back on Saturday August 2nd......
so the end-of-tour party at Rockaway beach has YET AGAIN been changed back to Friday August 8th and Saturday August 9th.....

Much like how Odysseus had made animal sacrifices to the goddess Athena in hope of accelerating his safe return home to Ithaca, I have been exclusively drinking Deschutes products and Oregon Pinot Gris in the hopes of expediting MY return home.

I hope that this is the proper sacrifice that appeases The Oregon Gods.....

Still, though.....been enjoying my encore in the Denver area. Caught up with TJ briefly, and was saved by my ex-cousin-in-law, Darryn, who dragged his ass alllll the way up to East Colfax to fetch me and allowed me to crash at his pad for four nights in the beautiful remote foothills South of Castle Rock, Colorado.

It's amazing......four episodes of Firefly on DVD rented from Blockbuster and FIFTH-ROW BOX SEATS on the third-base side during a Rockies* victory reeeaaaalllly help ease skooter-related depression.....

*Consult your doctor to see if Rockies Games are right for you and your skooter-related depression. Rockies Games are not right for everyone, and side-effects may include increased feelings of ecstasy and/or hopelessness, loud cursing at the pitching staff, and throwing things at Clint Hurdle in relation to bone-headed managerial decisions.

Coming up next from Reno.......Geography lesson part Quatre and FAQ's all about this trip.....


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