Friday, January 24, 2014

So much for that.....



AT the last minute on my way out the door this morning, Tam decided that she would like it if I stayed home during this time off.  Being the good boy that I am, I obeyed!

Soooo.....didn't take the ride up to Mong Cai and China.  Just gonna vege in Hai Phong for the next coupla weeks.  Well, I have a ton of books I gots ta catch up on anyways, naw worries!

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Being at least five years behind electronic trends as I am, a buncha friends and I in different geographic locations, are going to attempt to put together a Podcast!  Never done anything like this before and I get the feeling that it's gonna be four drunk guys ranting about politics and sports.  The trial run show is this coming Sunday!

I haf no clue how it is going to be put on The Interweb or any of the technical shit involved, I was just tole that I need Skype or Google Video/Voice/Hangouts, and a headset and microfone!

Soon as I figger out where the trial run of "Hippy Take A Shower!" (thass the name of the podcast) is going to appear online, I'll post it here!

More blatherings on Tuesday!

-E-

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Mr. Kitchen Day didn't go so well this year.....


Mr. Kitchen Day (Ông Táo chầu trời) is my favourite holiday in Viet Nam!  I had first learned about it quite by accident, and had gradually figgered out what the story behind it really was (a simple, short, yet funny explanation can be found here).  

So, last year, I began to celebrate it.  I had my mother-in-law buy a big-ass live fish (I *THINK* it was an Asian Carp, 'cause the sonnabitch kept jumping outta the tub filled with water that we had it in) at the street market that she goes to every day, and Tam, Emily and I walked to the lake behind my house and released the fish, in an attempt to appease Mr. Kitchen!

Soooo, this year, given that I NOW KNOW the story, I requested that my mother-in-law buy THREE mid-sized fish for us to release (you know....kinda goes along with the story linked to above about Ông Táo and how there are three people named Gods over this entire incident).

Well, sadly, whilst they were sitting in the bucket all day, one of 'em bought the farm and the other two weren't looking very healthy!  So, at sunset, Tam, Emily, Minh Tuan and I walked to the lack and tossed 'em in.  Dead fishie just kinda floated....the half-dead fishie kinda dropped down to the bottom of the lake like a rock and the other one was fine!  

Hopefully this isn't ominous of the way this approaching Lunar New Year is going to go for me....


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Gonna take my annual Tet road trip tomorrow! Usually, every year shortly after Tet day (THEE first day of the new lunar year), I am granted clemency by the wife to run away from Hai Phong for a few days to escape the all-shops-closed-nothing-moving-SKULLCRUSHING-BOREDOM that IS Hai Phong one week before and one week after Tet day.  For example, last year, Tam actually joined me as we went to Ho Chi Minh City right after Tet and it was extremely therapeutic!

Well, Tam, being extremely traditional, enjoys hanging around the home and hearth during the Tet days, and this year, she is going to do just that! This trip is just going to be a short seven day skooter ride to Mong Cau in the very far northeast corner of Viet Nam and, if time permits, a bus ride to the Chinese city of Nanning forra day or two.  Figger since I begged, screamed, threatened and cried at the Chinese Embassy staff back in November to give me a long-term (or at LEAST a multi-entry) visa, they finally took pity and gave me a TWO-entry visa for China.  This visa expires on the 10th of February.....soooooo....figger that, for what I paid for the Goddamm over-priced visa, may as well git my use outta it!

First day is gonna end at some little tiny-ass town a bit more than halfway between Hai Phong and Mong Cai called Tiên Yên. THIS should be interesting as to if I actually MAKE it, as, the last time I had attempted (than gave up at the town of Cam Pha) this ride, back in 2009, Goddamm
Highway 18 was a nearly impassable nightmare due to its being in such shitty shape and total lack of road maintainence (basically crater-sized holes in the road that could swallow a Goddamm CAR!!!)!  SUPPOSEDLY, my buddy Dave from Flagstaff said that HE did the ride from Hai Phong to Mong Cai a year ago and it was generally all right.....so we can only hope they improved the road.


More tomorrow from Tiên Yên.....or wherever the hell I end up!

-E-

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Rants, updates, reviews and whatever else.....

HOLY SHIT!  What this poor, devastated crushed young man must have suffered through!  To HELL with the chick - she almost destroyed our proud town's football tradition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They released one of the Steubenville, Ohio rapists today......

.....but, I was just floored about what this kid's lawyer was saying regarding the trials and tribulations and hardships this kid has gone through - while NOT ONE TIME mentioning guilt or sorrow or sympathy for the victim and her family!!

Sometimes, it's people (and there ARE A LOT OF 'EM) that HAVE this sort of entitlement mentality that really make me reconsider if The United States is really a place where I want my children growing up.....and, if they MUST grow up in The States, it just makes home-schooling look better and better.....and I SWEAR I thought I would NEVER EVER make a statement like that EVER (because, in the past, I had always been scared of home-schooling, linking it to wacked-out Libertarians and Branch Davidians)!

READ HIS LAWYER'S STATEMENT UPON THIS ASSHOLE KID'S RELEASE!

It's just truly bizarre.......

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Overall, Chengdu was awesome.  Tam and I both really, really enjoyed the city and we both really got into it!  Now, while we both DO realise that going to a place on a four-day vacation is much different than actually RESIDING there, I have been pretty much dead-on about places that I had initially visited for a few days and then proceeded to live there!  Chengdu gave me that feeling. IF the English Language instruction market in Hai Phong continues to be controlled and skewed in the manner that it has been over the last year-and-a-half, there is a very good possibility that we will end up going to Chengdu (or to possibly another city in Southern or Western China) for the short term.....at least until shit clears up here or the jobs scene in The States finally comes back to something resembling normalcy....

The situation really kinda sucks - I DO wish to return home to The States, and while I encounter frequent bouts of homesickness (ESPECIALLY after the Blizzard of '14 in Buffalo and the entire Polar Vortex thing), there are upsides to being stuck in Hai Phong.  One obvious one being that I can (USUALLY) make a decent living here while I constantly read about the major crisis of the long-term unemployed back in The States (and I DO KNOW some who have been without work for more than six months). The fact that I AM able to work for myself in Hai Phong and not be somebody's little bitch and can avoid amazingly half-assed and sheer and utterly useless regulations that overwhelm any poor soul in The States that tries to make a go of working for him or herself does pay dividends in terms of personal sanity.......

.....but.....yeah.....it ain't home!


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We're in the dead zone right now between Thanksgiving and Tet (Lunar New Year) where everything drops off as everybody just works to save money (Vietnamese so they can really enjoy the forthcoming holiday of Tet and Tây to save ca$h to git the hell OUTTA here during Tet) - so gigs and clients are nearly impossible to come by!

The way that I HAD previously ran things was where private groups of students arranged by a client and business clients were pretty much my bread-and-butter, and I had one single class that I myself owned and operated!  This class was actually a stress-reliever and was always performed for my personal happiness than for any sort of reasonable financial remuneration (I got awesome students in this class)!!  Well, with the English Language instruction market being contorted like it has been in Hai Phong,
we all know what happened THERE.

On a brighter note, however.  It seems that I'm getting more and more new students joining this one class, and am going to be opening a second class directly after Tet!  A couple more classes like this set up and thoughts of The States or Chengdu could be only a memory!

Did I ever mention to you just HOW stable freelancing is??

Believe me, it's NOT for the faint of heart, and whilst it IS immensely satisfying working for yourself and taking pride in your own efforts, there truly is something to be said about the simple stability of being somebody else's little bitch and KNOWING that that individual (or group of individuals) is going to toss you a regular and consistent paycheque every week......


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Was at the bar this past Saturday talking to a close friend of mine here from India.  He was INFURIATED (as all of India is) about the entire strip-searching episode of the Indian Consulate worker in New York City.  I had to explain to him that I actually CAN totally understand why what was done was done!  The strip-searching part of it all, though, I really dunno about, but the rest - hell yes!

It had been repeatedly suggested that she simply be contacted and be requested to report to The U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York.  COME FUCKING ON!  After knowingly falsifying a United States Visa application, do you truly believe that she's actually going to SHOW UP?  Her ass would be on the next flight to Delhi!!  It would be explained as a simple "Foreign Ministry Personnel Transfer"!

My friend passionately argued that U.S Embassies and Consulates are United States soil, so that United States laws apply there!  Therefore, since the same holds true for Indian Embassies - the house servant should not have to be subject to United States minimum wage laws and instead should be subject to Indian wage and salary regulations!

Which is a great thesis, 'cept that the house servant would never be allowed to leave the residence of Ms. Khobragade because THEN, said house servant would be OFF OF Indian soil and therefore subject to United States minimum wage laws (so no picking up the dry-cleaning or running errands).  And the purpose of a Foreign Ministry's or Department of State's embassies and consulates is NOT to run an indentured-servant sweatshop!!  I mean, like this house servant could go and grab a bite at McDonald's or pick up a gallon of milk for herself on THREE-DOLLARS-AND-THIRTY-ONE CENTS PER HOUR???  As IF......

Plus, being an International traveler and an ex-pat, there's one thing I discovered:  DON'T FUCK with the VISA!!  It IS thee holiest of holies!  It IS a sovereign nation's identity, and visa fraud is MUCH MORE a psychological blow than an actual economic one to a nation!  I mean, some grandmother lies on a visa application to get her grandkid into The States or some American does a sham marriage to get somebody in....THAT is bad enough!!

But for an employee of a nation's foreign service to do it???  In THAT position and capacity, you just don't pull that kinda shit......ya just don't!


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Trying out for the
JEOPARDY ONLINE QUIZ tomorrow.  Apparently, they draw contestants from the pool of those who successfully complete this quiz.  This should be great forra laff, and personally, I'm not expecting anything at all out of it except a chance to sharpen my mad pub quiz skillz!!



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Annnnnnnd......finally, a few VietGlish pics taken from my local supermarket - 




This fone was an amazing machine....but I paid a high sexual price for it!  I just feel so.....so....so....so USED!!




....because, we all know how over-rated Route 66 is!  It's high time that we start to boost Camp Road and the entire Village of Hamburg!  And hats off to Big C in Hai Phong for taking the lead in this endeavor!!




Waaaaai......wait!  You want me to WHAT on WHOSE bed while eating WHAT???



Arrrr......go france yourself!!




More next week......

-E-