Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sooooooo.......if you DO see me on CNN being led away in handcuffs......

Well, to start off with.....

.....please forgive any errors in the postings. I am.....uhhhh.....having trouble viewing my blogs from here, for some strange reason (and can't pull up High Rant District's Blogspot page as well). All other web pages come up just perfect, though. Dunno if it's a Google problem, or........

ALTHOUGH.....I just went through a web proxy......NOW it comes up with no issues.


Right....so where was me?

Well, finally got to Guangzhou after a grueling 5 hour flight from Tokyo where I was forced to watch “Bee Movie” and blew through Chinese Customs and Immigration in, like, five minutes.

Niiiiice aeroport in Guangzhou! They built it, like, five minutes ago. Clean, sharp.....not bad. Got into the terminal, bought a SIM card for my unlocked Quad-band GSM world phone, tried the ATM, it worked and I got a whole mess of notes with The Chairman's fotograff on 'em:

Here's the Money Shot you all have been waiting for:

Wanted to try the McDonald's in the airport......just to see what it offered on the menu, but I was waaaaay jet-lagged and really need a pint.

Stepped outside, sat on a bench just to try to grasp the enormity of what the hell's going on, when I had been approached by a gentleman asking if I needed a taxi. I did what any rational thinking suspicious person would do: Said “sure!” and showed him the address of the Super Hotel 168, he said 150 Yuan (like, maybe, $21), so I smiled like an idiot, too tired to negotiate, and once again said “sure!”

Shoulda KNOWN something was dodgy when he had me follow him out to the parking garage (instead of having his well-marked taxi right in front of the terminal) and led me into some sort of minivan and told me to hop in. Now, this minivan did NOT have the little light-bar thingy on top of it's roof indicating that it was an actual, state-registered taxicab....looked a lot like my neighbour's minivan.....Still though, I wasn't about to ask him if he is an officially registered taxicab, considering.....

A) – His English was as good as my Cantonese!

B) - I was jet-lagged to the point where I didn't even know my fucking name!

C) - I just wanted the special style of my hotel to make me new and fresh, at any cost!!

Well.....it turned out, I WASN'T Shanghai'd, he smoked a few Chinese ciggie with me that he kindly offered me, and in no time (like, at, 105 MPH or so!!!!!!), I was at the new and fresh Hotel.

And after seeing what I saw on the roads here....I will NEVER EVER complain about Oregonians being allowed to drive.

New and fresh hotel next......after I use it for, like, 15 straight hours of sleep!!!!


No comments: