Friday, April 11, 2008

Several interesting observations whilst on a four hour walk.....

I didn't even know that Hotel Super 168 (part of the “Ease Hotel” chain) was not anywhere even near Guangzhou!! Apparently, it's some suburb (“....the most prosperous Huadu district”) out by Baiyun (translates literally to “cloud airport”) Airport that is, like, 25 miles from Guangzhou City Centre. It's like being in Wilsonville or some shit......

Walked around for, like, four hours yesterday. Bought some toothpaste and some Cab Sav. Now, looking carefully at the pic below, you'll see that the toothpaste is manufactured by, of all people, LG (“Life's Good”). Now, I'm a huge fan of their cell fones and TVs, but shit, do I really want them making my toothpaste?? I think I'll try that right before the Panasonic mouthwash!

Also, if you'll note, the flavour of the toothpaste? “Bamboo salt” flavour. Ahhh.....yeah.....sure.......just what I wanna taste right after waking up at noon the morning after a bender.

Actually....oddly enuff? It wasn't that bad.....surprisingly tasty! Fresh, too. No, it wasn't bubble-gum-blowout flavoured Crest or some such rubbish like that (thank Christ)......but I really think that Chinese toothpaste gets a bad rap. I mean, I'm still alive!!!

The vino? It was a Chinese Cab Sav named “Great Wall.” If you can imagine buying a three dollar bottle of Merlot that is anything else but Charles Shaw, and trying to drink it after it's been uncorked for five get the idea.

Saw a few interesting billboards during my walk:

I really liked the cop on the skooter one, and the second one (that appears to be some sort of recruitment billboard) was kinda creepy......have zero idea what the third one implies.

Also, if you saw this screened onto a shop window, would you shop there?? I mean, this kinda stuff gives kids nightmares for life!

Get a kick about how everything in China has “The people's glourious (PICK ONE: Police station/athletic stadium/Insurance company/toilet) blah blah blah.....” in front of it. Including this lovely hospital, with more flashing signs in the lobby than a casino!

At least 50%+ of people, male and female, in Guangzhou own motorcycles or skooters, and there are only two types: The Yamaha Zuma clone for skooters and the Honda CB125 clone for motorcycles. You'll never see an actual Yamaha or Honda, but rather, their shamelessly pirated Chinese clone reproductions. Sad part was that I coulda bought one of these Yamaha Zuma skooter clones BRAND NEW/SHOWROOM FLOOR for 2000 Yuan!!!

That, my friends, is $300USD!

I was having images racing through my mind of actually riding the thing around China, but the fact that it wasn't registered, insured and I wasn't licensed QUICKLY quashed THAT idea......

Found out where British visitors to Guangzhou stay at:

Saw that Mickey D's has a foothold here......and had lunch at a fast food place called “Kung Fu” pictured below -

Also saw, of all things, a couple of Buicks! Didn't know they had THOSE in China! Wonder what THAT fact does to Buick being your grandfather's standard of luxury? And a Buick hatchback.....a fucking BUICK HATCHBACK in CHINA???? David Dunbar Buick (founder - 1903) has GOT to be doing backflips in his grave!!

Walked up to a Chinese gaz, THAT is thee only thing on par with U.S. pricing, with gaz going at 5.31 Yuan per litre (or roughly three bucks per gallon).

Saw that the Chinese are having their own foreclosure epidemic.....hell, they even have a supermarket devoted to those in the mortgage industry:

Viewed some reeeeaaalllly, really yummy looking choices on the menu:

Wow......468 Yuan for that pig. Shit, bet now you'll never look at your favourite Chinese restaurant the same way again, will ya?

Saw this gem posted at the Guangzhou police department – Huadu District. It's basically instructions for foreigners......but I LOVE the verbiage -

“Please don't join in 'Pornographic, Gamble and Drugs'.....” I LOVED THAT!!!

And finally.....I WAS going to try the China Welfare Lottery......but I figured that the grand prize would just be a ticket to New York City, where I'd hit the welfare jackpot, sooooo........

I'm gonna leave you with some boring National Geographic pics that I took in Guangzhou.....hope you enjoy 'em!!


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