SO, was last talkin' about the trip to The States.
The final night in Vegas at the former Sahara hotel and casino (NOW called "The SLS" or some shit like that)......
Well, after three straight nights of dancin' on top of the bar, drinkin' and gamblin' and such in old Downtown Las Vegas.....I realised that I ain't as young as I used to be!
Friday around noon, crawled from Downtown (where I had been ensconced for the previous three nights) to the SLS. Friendly, polite enuff folk at the front desk. Buncha Millennial Hipsters roaming the hallways, with a smattering of fifty-somethings TRYING to look like neo-hippies....just a weird vibe.
Didn't like it at all....
I jes' don't dig places like this! If I wanted THIS, I'd be in SouthEast Portland, Oregon or Brooklyn or some shit.....I like my OOOLD-skool, smoky, dingy, granny-playin'-the-slots-with-her-ciggie-in-one-hand-and-her-oxygen-tank-in-the-other types of places! The Stardust! The Western! The El Cortez!!
Thass MY Vegas.....this place sure as hell wasn't....
....but, shit - it was a Friday Night in Las Vegas and I got this place on Hotwire for less than fiddy bucks, sooooo.......
Git my room key and was rudely awakened outta my hungover daze by THEE most bizarre elevators that had the inside walls plastered with photo shoots that look like they were ripped straight outta "Millennial Hipster Weekly" magazine........
......I mean, drinkin' Gin 'n Tonics, smokin' filterless ciggies, rolling dice at the tables at THEE LAST final remaining bastion of old-time Rat-Pack Vegas, The El Cortez....simply enjoyin' life......and then, the next morning, I get assaulted with THIS???
Well, after destroying my liver, lungs, and sanity the past three nights, the IDEA of a cigarette, a beer or even SEEING a slot machine just made me physically ill, so I figgered that hiding in my room under the blankets playing on The Interwebs would not be such a bad idea.......
....'cept the Wi-Fi didn't work!The Wi-Fi was nearly non-existent! When it DID work, it CRAWLED. Called the Front Desk about this and waited (literally) 90 minutes for somebody to answer the phone!! Finally, somebody answered, and they said that they'd send somebody up to my room. 45 minutes later, a very pleasant and polite Beatnik-y looking guy with a beret and goatee (I kid you not) does a quik analysis and tells me the system is overloaded as the hotel is at 100% capacity!! Tells me he's going to file a work order for this tonight!
Damm.......what a hoppin' place THIS must be! Wonderin' HOW the goddamm casino itself makes any ca$h if everybody's up in their rooms streamin' shit online???
Gave up, decided to crawl into bed to sooth the punishment from the sins of the past three nights, and watch "The Interview" on my Netbook.
Now, when I am deathly hungover straight the fuck outta my skull, EVERYTHING is funny! Schindler's List would be funny! Shit, one time some years ago, after a particularly harsh night at the Avi Hotel and Casino (located at the point where Nevada meets both, California and Arizona), the next day I went to their cinema inside the casino and watched Harold and Kumar Go To Guantanamo Bay (one of THEE DUMBEST, most idiotic and unfunny films EVER made) and I was so hungover, I pissed myself from laffing so hard [ http://skooter-on-101.blogspot.com/2008/05/day-nine.html ]!!
Sadly, The Interview didn't have that ability!
It was soooo HORRIBLE, I wanted the Goddamm PIRATES THAT I TORRENTED THE MOVIE FROM to PAY ME for my pain and suffering from watching that steaming heap of shit!
Next day, jumped in the car, went to BW-3, ate some shitty, under-cooked wings and caught the flight back to PDX.....
Final thoughts about the trip back to The States in a week or so.....
-E-
