Days Twenty Nine and Thirty......


Woke up in San Angelo and felt about 150% better!! Felt more than ready to do the easy 220 miles to Austin. Had a good brekker, then hit the road.

Short, uneventful ride into Austin. Got there around the 4PM rush hour, and spent an hour trying to find the motel that I had booked from the scary truck-stop "discount-coupons-for-motels" magazine.

Got the the Plaza Austin North hotel and suites finally. For thirty-five buxx a night, it was actually a really nice place (save for the "Internet throughout the entire hotel" as advertised........it doesn't exist......but still) but the Central/East Texas heat and humidity began to take its toll on me. So I actually hopped into the pool.....this was thee first time I had ever jumped into a lodging establishment's pool on this entire trip. A 30 minutes soaking in cold, soothing bliss was all that I needed.......

I love Austin. Been here a few times in the past, and I could easily spend a week here!!! Thing that sucks is, I'm a touch behind as is, so I really hadta hit the road. Sad, too....the nice aforementioned North Austin Plaza had weekly rates at $189/wk. THAT almost pushed me over the edge and I ALMOST said "screw it!!" and hung here forra week. Logic persevered, though, and I have a schedule I have to follow (to some extent).....

I struck out on South Congress. South Congress is a really cool, hipster, Bohemian sort of street in Austin (SE Hawthorne in Portlandia is about as close as I can describe the South Congress District......Little Five Points in Atlanta is somewhat similar, and Elmwood and Allentown in Buffalo would be slightly similar. Denver has nothing resembling South Congress Street District at all, except for MAYBE South Broadway), and one of my personal favourite places to hang.

The Austin Motel, is a place I had stayed in back in '97 and easily one of the coolest, wildest, and hippest motels in the entire U.S.

And Thursday Night......it had zero vacancy and sadly, The Continental Club, across the street from the Austin Motel, was open, but they had a band that night and even THAT was sold out and they weren't allowing people entry without a ticket!! So I had gone to a bar on 6th Street (Austin's bar and club strip) that is owned by an acquaintance of mine I used to know from my Buffalo days, had a couple Labatt Bleues (that were actually priced at Buffalo prices - $2.75 a bottle) and headed back to my hotel.

Woke up the next morning, headed off to Houston, and swung by a Waffle House for Brekker.

It's true......Waffle House is my addiction. A secret one, but an addiction nonetheless. Factoring in good food, cheap prices, and people who genuinely look and act like they're happy to be working there, and are very talkative.......it's an E place.

Ended my Austin tenure a lot sooner than I had wished....but still....again - I have something kinda resembling a schedule, sooo.....and took off late Friday Morning towards Houston. Made my cousin's house in an area of far outer ex-urban Houston called Katy, Texas, around mid-afternoon.

The sprawl in this region is amazing!! I'd never seen anything like it before in my life....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Feeling veeeerrrrry dodgy about my front tyre. NOT YET showing steel cables.....but definitely showing wear.

Problem being that the REAR tyre is all over then Internet and I can have that in my possession in about 45 seconds.

The front tyre???

Try four days shipping time to a Honda dealer!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have the luxury of being able to spend four days anywhere except Buffalo on this ride....

....that front tyre will NOT make it to Buffalo......

.....so I gotta order from any out of a number of places off of the Internet that carry that specific front tyre (and there are several), order it seven days before I arrive inside a certain city, have it shipped to a FRIEND'S house in that specific city, and then find a skooter-specific or a Honda repair shop in that specific town, and bring both, new tyre and The Helix there!!

I can only shake my head in disbelief.......

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As many people as there are from the other 49 that regularly ridicule Texans, I offer these three quik factoids -

• I've made the statement after living here in 1998, and ten years later, I WILL reiterate it: Texans are thee best drivers in The United States. They drive fast, intelligently, very politely, and yet, almost literally 99% of drivers in Texas know what a turn indicator is and they regularly USE IT!!!!!!!
  
  
• Windmill farms are sprouting up all over West Central Texas. THIS is ironic, since wind power is not in the best interests of the wealthy Texas oil barons......
  
  
• The state refuses to institute an ignorant, ill-informed smoking ban in bars.

Now, before I get too excited to be here and before I go spouting on about how Texas is really ahead of the curve.......I offer this to temper your enthusiasm -











Errrmm........"Austria - Proud Home of Chancellor Adolph Hitler!"


BUT......I really did think the old-style gaz pumps in rural West Texas were too cool.....











I'm vegging with all my cousins here in Greater Houston for the next couple days........but before flee.....I gotta show ya this weird shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, I woke up, asked my cousins where the kettle was forra cup, and they pull out some shit that's straight outta the Woody Allen film Sleeper.....





I'm taking it easy.....enjoying time with my cousins.....see ya on Tuesday!!!

-E-

Day Twenty Eight....

Much like Day Twelve.....

......I shoulda realised that there'd be days like this....part deux.

Woke up at The Desert Hills Motel in Hobbs, NM to a POUNDING noise (that, for once, was NOT inside my head) at, like, 8AM.

This did not put E in a happy mood.

I storm outside my door and witness the lady who owns and/or operates the motel, with her eight-year-old son literally pounding something with hammers DIRECTLY outside my window of my room!

"What the FUCK???" I screamed.

They apologised profusely, and scurried off to pound some other (presumably vacant) rooms, as it appeared that they were installing brand new wood trimming around the windows of the room.

Stormed off back into my room, and went back to sleep and woke up around ten AM.

THAT was BAAAAD Karma.....

When I woke around ten AM, I found myself glued to the toilet, as every time I finished, I'd be summoned back to said commode again and again!

The British call this "curry arse".....but I hadn't been offered any curry when I checked into the motel office the night before (but, Christ, did their curry smell good)!

Bad Karma....

So I check out, apologise profusely to the lady and her son, explain that I'm not really a morning person, and hit the road.

Seventy miles later, I barely make it to Lamesa, Texas and sprint into a Taco Villa fast food restaurant's restroom....

.....Shiva was nonplussed with my offering of apologies and genuine sorrow towards the family that ran that motel in Hobbs.


THEN, to make things more better (sorry, I'm in Texas: Gotta speech like the President), on a desolate stretch of road between Big Spring and San Angelo, Texas.......

.....a bird literally decided to fly directly into my windshield! With The Helix moving at 67 M.P.H....

Plus, it was on a four-lane divided highway where thee next opportunity to turn around was six miles down the road.......so I couldn't go back and check on the poor thing!!

THEN, to top the sundae with a cherry, I feel this minor shot in the left side of my stomach!! OK.....whatever....musta been road gravel shot up into me.....

....well, road gravel don't create a lump with redness and swelling......it hadta been a Goddamm bee that flew into me.

Cute....

Made it into San Angelo, Texas, grabbed a room, and rolled around the bed moaning from the pain in my guts. Dunno whether it was a 24-hour stomach flu or dysentery....so I ran to the supermarket and bought some pepto-bismol and everything in the supermarket cooler that had the word "electrolytes" on the label and just proceeded to drink about three gallons of Glaceau Vitamin Water.


As Huey Lewis once sang: "All I want for tomorrow.....is to get it better than today!"

Austin tomorrow.....

-E-

Day Twenty Seven......

Thee strangest adjectives.....

Bought some deodorant yesterday and decided that that'll be it for this blog post.

Love,

-E-

No, but seriously.....

So, I buy some deodorant, and I look, and the packaging says "BONUS!!!! FREE sample enclosed!!!"

I'm a huge fan of the word "free"......

Count me in!

OK, so I study the packaging to this free sample......and the descriptive terms it uses are.....errrmmm.......rather.....uhhh.....unique, shall we say!












Now.....first off, if something is described as over-anything......that generally has a negative connotation or implication.......such as over-done, over-acting, etc. etc.

I mean, the term "over-engineered" sounds suspiciously like some MASSIVELY publicised project from, say, an automobile manufacturer or from a designer of computer operating systems (I mean, except for LINUX or Apple)........

.....and then the result ends up being The Pontiac Fiero or Windows Vista!!

And secondly, what the hell is "competitive dryness testing"??

As opposed to what?? Recreational dryness testing?? Was there a competitive dryness testing squad at Portland State University? And, most importantly, can I place wagers on the results in Vegas?

I can see it on CBSSportsLine now:
"Yeah, Frank......Jimmy The Greek likes Mitchum at home vs. Speed Stick by two-and-a-half tonight. He really doesn't think that Speed Stick can take the heat playing on the road before a national TV audience and a full arena full of competitive dryness testing fans at their nastiest screaming their brains out for Mitchum......"

Truthfully? I'm veeerrry leery of applying this stuff anywhere on my body......soooo......I dunno.....maybe I'll pawn it off on somebody and see whether they, after initial use, immediately sign a $30 million contract with the Los Angeles Lakers as a power forward, or if they sprout extra limbs shortly after use.....




OH RIGHT......the ride......almost forgot.....just got caught up and lost in my own blather there.....sorry.


Right.....sooooo, after a late start due to excessive dawdling, I take off towards Houston around 12:45pm, figuring that I'll nail 290 miles today to Hobbs, NM and split the remainder of the ride to Houston in two short embarrassingly easy segments of 220 miles each.

All was grand riding from Edgewood to what used to be called Rip Griffith's Truck Stop (NOW called "The official Corporate Buyout Truck Stop, brought to you by T/A TravelAmerica Travel Plazas" or some shit like that)

Well......soon as I killed a bowl of Chili (NO!!!!!! NOT that weird shit that the citizens of New Mexico say is chili.........noooooo.....this is the normal stuff that the other 49 states are familiar with and love) at Rip's place, I hit the open road around 1:35pm, or somewhere around there......

HMMMM......whhhhaaaaaaa???? Huh????

Apparently, my top speed is now capped at 67 M.P.H., and I'm losing about 20 to 25% of my Miles Per Gallon......

WTF???

Forgot....it was EASTERN New Mexico......flat, highly elevated plains....and perfectly fucking TREELESS!!

So?

So.....trees SCREEN hyper-speed winds!! That's why, say, along I-70 in Kansas.....you'll KNOW that you're coming to a settlement ("Town" doesn't seem like....errmm....the best noun to use here) because whilst the Interstate runs East-West......you'll see thee, THEE only line of trees for twenty miles running from the Interstate in a North-South direction.

So, no biggie, I thought....so what? The wind is kicking the absolute hell out of my top speed and my M.P.G. (Remember - This is a veeerrry light bike).....but stuff happens!!

Get to Vaughn, New Mexico.....gaz looks OK....got 100 miles to Roswell.....Mmmmm....yeah, no worries.

Boy did I fuck THIS one up.......

Actually.....truthfully.....New Mexico Department of Transportation fucked it up!

There were DEAD ZERO signs stating "NO services whatsoever for the next 100 miles"!!!

Now before you go on your "The Government is NOT your nanny!!!!" rant in the comments section, please understand - I mean, from personal experience, I can unequivocally state that at least 80% of the states that I have driven in WARN you with a sign where there will be no services available for the NEXT FIFTY MILES (or greater)!!!

This was ONE HUNDRED MILES and no sign? Huh??

Why not stop for gaz in Vaughn?

Why bother, I figured....as, depending which map you look at of Highway 87, there are TWO listed settlements along the way (Ramon and Mesa....which, upon blowing past them, turned out to both be fucking ghost towns....just like being trapped on an uncharted island, and you THINK that you see a ship.....but it's a mirage!!!!).

Then again.....these mapping websites also list an actual place smack in the middle of Griffith Park in The City of Beaverton, a settlement of some sort called "Beburg" (MapQuest FINALLY took it off, but if you go to http://local.live.com and for an address, type in 4755 SW Griffith Drive, Beaverton, OR 97005, you will not only see this bizarre Geographical phenomenon called "Beburg", but if you click on "Bird's Eye" view right on top of the building, you will see Beaverton City Hall's top commanders signaling and appealing to their alien overlords for help (for things like the proposed Wal-Mart, the most recent election, etc.)

Well.....I have spoken to Beaverton Historians.......

There is NO known reference nor any researched settlement AT ANY TIME in Griffith Park called "Beburg"


BUT....just goes to show that these mapping programs MUST be used very carefully.....they AIN'T gospel truth!!!!!!!!!!

The guy in the bar on his sixth martini drawing you a map on the back of a cocktail napkin......now HE'S the gospel truth.

Right.....

.....so, again, no worries.

Then....the fuel gage plummets like the Goddamm Dow Jones and I'm forty miles outside of Roswell.....and I'm furiously trying to estimate my petrol remaining (remember, I have NO "reserve tank" on The Helix). Stop at a rest area, and, Lo and Behold....like California, the attendant is there busting his ass working. So I ask the kind gentleman, like, if there's ANY gaz station AT ALL between this rest area and Roswell (about 40 miles).

Ooooh.....no. But I MAY have some gaz I can give ya!

Really sweet guy....but guess what??? The LAST attendant at the rest area used his red plastic container full of gaz for.......

....a car a couple days ago that was driving through and ran out of gaz!!!!!!!!

I really almost phoned NM-DOT and tore into somebody there HARD about not placing a sign......thought better of it, though.....

The kind gentleman did offer me a refrigerated bottle of water, but I declined and thanked him politely and took off. It was 100-plus degrees out, but I was too furious to drink water.....go figure!!

I LITERALLY crawled to Roswell!! I mean, I was literally traveling at 45 M.P.H. to avoid wind resistance......thus save petrol.

I made it to the petrol station with one-tenth of a gallon remaining.......cute....

Blew outta there, easily did the remaining 120 miles to Hobbs, and drove around the city for another 20 miles trying to locate a motel with rooms available, as there was some sort of Electrical Workers convention (but WHY Hobbs, NM, for a convention.....with no major airport, NO Interstate anywhere near there.....and, thee most puzzling question - WHY on thee very day AFTER Memorial Day?? I mean, WTF??) and I was having zero luck.

DID find a place called The Desert Hills Motel, typed a blog, watched lightning off to the distant Eastern Horizon, and went to bed.

No pics.....if you really want to see towns like Vaughn, Ramon, and Encino, New Mexico.....go YouTube Green Day's vid Boulevard of Broken Dreams......and stare carefully at the first ninety seconds of the video......THAT is Eastern New Messico........

.......off to Texas tomorrow.....

-E-

Days Twenty Three through Twenty Six....

Errmm......How do I fit this in?

I had planned this trip for quite a while now, and had placed May 1st, 2008 as the departure date. However, there was a large birthday celebration planned for my father (who turned 75 years young) slated for May 24th in Buffalo. Obviously, I had to be there.

BUT......hell! I hadta buy the airline ticket (all fine and great), but i didn't know from WHERE!!! I mean, I had VEEERRRY rough approximates as to where I'll be Geographically on May 23rd (ROUGHLY, at a average, standard clip of 200 miles a day [give or take], I woulda been in either Dallas or Houston, Texas, depending on my choosen route).....but to buy the flight from Dallas or Houston left veeeerrryyy little wiggle room.

I mean, so what if I git into an accident? What if The Helix became ill?? What if I met the girl of my dreams along the road and decided to stuff the rest of the trip entirely?? What if I got abducted by aliens in Roswell??? Would I hafta invite them to the party as well, in exchange for them flying me to Buffalo??

I reaaaalllly hadta play this safe. So I gave myself a week buffer time just in case and bought a flight outta the Albuquerque Sunport to leave the night of Day Twenty Three.

This way, in case any of the aforementioned disasters struck, I'd have seven days as a safety net to make my way from wherever aforementioned disaster struck to The Sunport via bus, train, airplane, hitch-hiking, etc. etc. so that I would make that flight for my father's birthday celebration.

And I've never unintentionally missed a flight.....

Turns out nothing happened:

• Drivers were more than courteous this entire ride so far

• Failed to find the girl of my dreams on this ride so far

• The aliens ran out of fuel somewhere between Vaughn and Roswell, New Mexico, and thus, couldn't abduct anybody

• And The Helix has roared through the first 3500 miles of this ill-advised folly with flying colours (save for minor altitude-carburetor issues)

Sooooo.......THAT left me spending a week in Albuquerque! Besides drawing Will and Cindy away from the store they own and hafta operate to entertain me for nearly a full fucking WEEK, I pretty much ate and drank them outta house and home!

Two kinder souls you could not meet.......

So, before flying outta the Sunport at 11:30PM Friday Night (JUST the way I enjoy spending my Friday Nights), I picked up my skooter from Downtown Scooters (where they did a once over on it, discovered that the shocks were slightly leaking tiny amounts of oil, engine compression was a touch low [both of these ARE normal - given The Helix's age and mileage from what Harry, owner of Downtown Scooters, told me], adjusted the carb idle, topped off the coolant, and re-adjusted the brakes and inspected the entire thing for, like, FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!!!!).

Good folk.....check 'em here!!

Tried riding it the 30 miles from Downtown Scooter over the Sandia Mountains back to Will and Cindy's abode.....but an absolutely pissing rain and balmy temps in the mid-40's had me thinking better of that idea. Left it in the garage at the Patio and Hearth store, and figured I'll pick it up Monday Night upon my return from Buffalo.

Flew out from The Sunport, landed at Buffalo-Niagara the next morning at 9AM, spent time with my family (and my siblings, a few friends and myself almost killed my ex-cousin-in-law, Darryn [see post of "Day Fourteen"] who flew into Buffalo to be there for my dad's celebration, where we kept him out hitting the haunts around Elmwood and Allentown to the point where his earliest evening going to bed was, like, 2AM).

If anyone's interested, I'll have a website up within the next week or two with pictures of my father's birthday party.

Flew back into The Sunport Monday evening, got The Helix, rode it up the hills to Will and Cindy's under a pleasant 80-degree evening.

Tomorrow morning......life back on the road returns Tuesday Morning.......gonna try to make Hobbs, New Mexico, en route to Houston.

Was a bit sad leaving Edgewood......got to see a bunch of great folk again (as well as meet some new friends).......but it got to the point where i HADTA ride. After three days stationary somewhere, I get really itchy for The Road.......

......so I'm off again.....

....and I'll leave you with a few pics....































New Mexico sunset over the Southern portion of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains.....











.....resulting in a weird New Mexico moonrise over the Northeastern horizon

.










Will and Cindy











And finally, my friends Leyland and Andra.......two of the sweetest, coolest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing (even though Leyland drinks like a girl!!!). I was kindly invited to their son Tyler's graduation party on the 18th, and I had a blast. True, one of the bathrooms in their house looks straight outta King of the Hill......and to give you an idea of the decorating theme of that bathroom, have a look at their flagstones -




















More later from Hobbs, New Mexico.......

-E-

Day Twenty Two.....

.....well, so much for that idea.

Figuring that I haven't been white-water rafting for at least eight years now (Moab, 2001 was my last white-water rafting adventure), I reckoned that it was about time to once again hit river. So, booked a trip on the Rio Grande for Thursday the 22nd. Will and Cindy were really into the idea......so away we went.

Well......it was about a two-hour drive from Edgewood up to a place just outside of Taos, which would be the raft launch point....roughly 75 miles to the North and about a 1500 foot elevation gain.

KNEW something was dodgy when we left Edgewood and it was 58 degrees.......then 45 in Santa Fe.......then 38 in Espanola.....then, finally, hail and 34 degrees at the raft launch site.

(Ya really gotta trust me on this one: NO WAY IN HELL was I taking the digital camera on a white water rafting trip!!)

Errrmmm......no.

I mean, I enjoy cold and such, but this is water directly from the Rocky Mountains, thus, that water was probably 34 degrees......and with the ambient air temperature at 34 degrees WITH HAIL......this shit had "hypothermic exposure in one hour" written all over it.

Uhhhh.....no, this was NOT gonna work.

They were cool about it, though. I was fully expecting to lose my fiddy percent deposit for this, but they gave me a choice of dates for a re-do. That was really nice......not like I'm gonna be back there for the date that selected to re-do it, but I gave it to Will and Cindy. Hell.....with what THEY'VE put up with hosting me forra week, and the fact they've not been whitewatering before.....it was the obvious solution!

So, we just figgered it best to sit around the house and enjoy gin and tonics instead on a windy Thursday afternoon.....


-E-

Day Nineteen....

Will and I had decided that today would be a good day to do an over-nighter down to White Sands National Monument.....a place that I've wanted to visit my entire life. So, we had planned to hit White Sands, then stay at The Inn of the Mountain Gods Resort and Casino in Ruidoso, NM on Da Rez (Apache, I think).

Hopped on the Helix, and Will hopped on his new toy......









It was amusing.....Will and a couple of his neighbours had given me the usual shit about the Helix.....and I had given them the usual "sheep-and-lemmings / follow-the-crowd" shit......got a few interesting stares from people on the way....

White Sands was Geographically fascinating......but we didn't really plan this well, since White Sands is similar to a Goddamm frying pan and it was 95-plus degrees out. We both got nice burns.....



















Niiiiicccce place (The Inn of the Mountain Gods).......and some really cool roads on the ride from Ruidoso to about Carrizozo. Once from Carrizozo to Edgewood, psychotic winds, road construction delays, and tar on the bikes from fresh gravel-and-asphalt being laid down, well, that was a bit of a buzzkill.....

Going whitewater rafting in Taos in fifteen minutes......more soon....

-E-

Day Sixteen....

Christ I love the San Luis Valley......

Took off from Salida on a cool (high - 50 degrees), cloudy day, but NO precipitation. Cool....good....

Entered the valley at the Northern meeting of the San Juan Mountains and Sangre de Cristo Mountains at Poncha pass. Cruised for about an hour, then wondered to myself (believe me.......riding a skooter for six, seven, eight-plus hours a day??? You DO talk to yourself!!): "Ya know, E? You never DID actually grab a PAPER map of the various states that you are going through on this trip. Errrmmm......HOW exactly are we gettin' to Edgewood??"

Gosh......good point. This was the San Luis Valley! Not really a place where I can easily bop into the AAA office and grab a buncha maps.......













So, no sooner did I wonder WHERE the hell I'd go once I got to Alamosa when I got to Moffat, Colorado. Now, there are other places in the lower 48 that ARE more Geographically isolated than Moffat, but no place FEELS more Geographically isolated than Moffat.

Still, though....next to the post office, there was a cafe with Wi-Fi. Always ready to enjoy a cup of tea, and eager to figure out where the hell I'm going, I stopped in.










So, looked at Mapquest, figured out what was where, hung out with a couple (who rode on the bike pictured on the left in the above fotograff) who were headed to Salida, and talked to the proprietor. Nice older eccentric sort who liked to dig up as well as create jewelry and art. He told me that I should swing by Crestone, Colorado, as it's only 15 miles off of the main North-South road (Colorado 17) on a road going East towards the Sangres.

"Well, yeah.....it's kinda a weird place, but hell, I like the Crestoners....I mean, a lot of 'em are my customers! It's really worth a ride out there." he opined.

Well, I git to Crestone, and I find out that it's some sort of whole-foods, holistic, spiritual, older-hippie sort of place. Kinda got THAT right offa the bat when I went to the Information kiosk at the beginning of town and saw what the accommodations offered......





















Here's just one of 'em: The I AM Harmony Bed and Breakfast.......loved their landscape architecture........










Right, so I ride into the sort of "residential part" of the town (for lack of a better term 'cause there appears to be no Land Use and Zoning code in Crestone) and came to the end of the paved road. Wanted to go see the Zen Centre, but, sadly, I did not wish to play "off-road Helix".........









.......so I turned around and headed back out and saw a group of mule deer......









....and looked to where they had been standing on the left side of the road (JUST BEFORE this pic was snapped), and saw a rather unusual sign......









OK....now, I didn't quite grasp this, as whilst there have been several evenings where I have been in a stupor and yet managed to enlighten people (some of those evenings have been on this very adventure), Jangchub Chorten is not somebody that I have had pints with, nor is Jangchub anyone on my pub quiz team.......so I got offa the Helix forra closer look.

As I got to the top of a hill, saw these weird cloth napkin-type thingies in several different colours with weird writing on them. Thought maybe I stumbled upon a curry house by accident.....



















Rode to the top of said hill, and saw these weird mounds of small rocks in front of a sort of monument. It was weird.....never seen anything like this before in such a strange place...they don't really advertise places like this.....



















Sooooo......I took a walk around......




So, I took a few bucks from that little brown bowl for my lunch, said "Thanx!" to those four weird Buddhist super-hero action figure guys, and headed back into Moffat forra quik bite!

Naw.....seriously, it was a fascinating site......so I dropped a few buxx into the bowl and looked around on the ground for my own little rock to brace it against the wind.

It's good Karma.......and Christ knows, I need as much of that as I can git!!

About an hour later, after exploring the area of Crestone, I saw a few local businesses.....so remember: ALWAYS support your Village Which and your local Holistic Dentist.....



















For more info and specific details regarding Crestone, check WiKi by clicking on the link.....




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Made it to my friends Will and Cindy's place in Edgewood, New Mexico around 7:15pm.


This is friend stop number three, and, much like Denver and L.A., generally, I prefer catching up with close friends of mine who reside outside of Portlandia (or outside of Ora-Gaaaan, for that matter) much more than I like to sit down in front of the EEE pc and force myself to write every Goddamm day.

I tend to be most excited about writing when I'm ALONE in some strange ratty-ass town, in some ratty-ass motel with my ASUS EEE pc and a cheap bottle of wine........

.....on that note, I'd be staying here from the 17th of May through to the 27th of May.......so please forgive me for the layoff from this blog.

More on a sidetrip I took in the next post!!

-E-

Day Fifteen....


Cool.....snow in mid-May.


Took off fairly late from TJ's place in Denver at around 1PM and had originally figured to go straight South down I-25, but looked at weather radar on the 'Net and figured it looked pretty safe heading SouthWest on U.S. 285 towards Fairplay. Saw a FEW splotches of precipitation on the radar map on this route, but they appeared to be rather small and isolated. Figured after hitting Fairplay, continue on to Buena Vista, through the San Luis Valley and spend the night in Alamosa, Colorado.....about 250 miles from my starting point.

Didn't happen......

REMIND me NOT to pursue a career in meteorology. Can't possibly figure out why, either.....since I nailed an "A" in that class at Metro State!

Left a warm, sunny sky in Denver in nothing but my thick hoodie and no gloves. By the time I hit Conifer, Colorado (about 30 miles SouthWest from Denver and about 2500 feet of elevation gain), I hadta change into full gear (well....for what little I brought on this ride, full gear) meaning putting on the Carhartt, donning the gloves, pulling on the waterproof Columbia shell pants, and taking off the Teva sandals in favour of hiking shoes.

As I was approaching Bailey, Colorado (elevation 7750 feet).........

....it started to snow.......

....and it WASN'T a coupla flakes, either.

This scenario was beginning to have "suck" written all over it! THIS was thee fucking reason WHY I didn't head due East From Portlandia and try to navigate the Northern Rockies of Montana in early May!!

This was a lot of fun, as I was trying to analyse whether the black pavement in front of me was -

A) - wet

B) - slushy

C) - ice!

Made it to Bailey, hid out in a diner, had a cup of chili and a few mugs of hot cocoa and waited out the snow forra hour or so.

I laff at the fact that I got a sunburn riding in shorts and a T-shirt a few short days ago.....

I took off from Bailey, and the sun came out, but the air temperature was still bitter. Made it to Fairplay, saw a gas station, and ran to use the bathroom.

Didn't hafta relieve myself at all......

....rather, hadta run hot water over my fingers.

I didn't bring my North Face psycho-ass Arctic gloves on this adventure....instead stuck with the standard TourMaster riding gloves that a friend and former co-worker gave me.

"Well, hell" I reasoned, "I'm going into the desert and Southern Texas, and then the Gulf Coast! And, Christ......it's MID-MAY!!! Can't get that cold in Colorado. I mean, come on! It's South of the 40th Parallel north....."

Wrong again......



Eventually made it to Salida, Colorado around 4:30pm. WAS thinking about gunning it to Alamosa, but I've always had an enjoyable time in Salida (on several occasions, various friends and myself would run away from Denver and spend a fun weekend in Salida back when I used to reside in Denver), plus I found the coolest motel I'd seen so far on this trip.








I mean, I had stayed in a cute little cabin-ette in Pagosa Springs, but this place was wood throughout, but had Wi-Fi, full kitchenette (with a small stove), cable TV (which I'm watching as I type this and, sadly, witnessing my Rockies getting their asses trounced by the Aridzona Diamondbacks) and about four times the square footage of the Pinewood Inn (in Pagosa Springs). I mean....the Woodland Motel in Salida used to be my sacred haunt, but shit....this place was thrity-nine buxx a night!!

When in Salida....hit The Mountain Motel......can't recommend it enuff! I hit an absolute gem that isn't even on TripAdvisor.com yet.

Will be soon....



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Quite surprised at my tyre wear. I mean, if you hit "Older Posts" on this blog and go to thee very origins of how this blog started (back in early April of 2007 - when my skooter was writing this and bitching about how I had ignored the rear tyre tread depth), you'll discover how I had Honda of Tillamook, Oregon replace the flat rear tyre with some shite, totally generic tyre that was dirt cheap, but ended up lasting me, like, 2000 miles before showing quick tread wear.

Dropped a few buxx and got a Dunlop K488 for the rear wheel before I took off from Portlandia....

....and here it is:










Oh. Forgot.....

......this is after riding 2600 miles......


Gonna TRY to make Albuquerque tomorrow.....we'll see what the weather conditions say about that idea.....

-E-

Day Fourteen.....

Leaving Denver.....

I pretty much always have a enjoyable experience visiting Denver. Again, as usual, this time I had seen most of the people that I wanted to catch up with (sadly, a couple of them I missed.....next trip, maybe) and was lucky enuff to avoid a few tragic individuals that I really did not wish to run into.

Many thanx to my friend TJ, for generous hospitality and great conversation.....this is coming from a guy who works an INSANE number of hours every week and had business meetings beginning yesterday in Vegas and Phoenix, but who still said: "Screw it! You got the run of my house while I is gone, E"









TJ decompressing after a long day at work and before a 6AM flight......

And TJ also let me pop the Helix in his garage......and I found it a bit funny that my land-sled is about three inches shorter than his pride-and-joy....










Also was able to (finally) catch up with my ex-cousin-in-law, Darryn. He's got a '95 Harley Springer and we had shared war stories of The Road over several pints.










Finally, on my last night in town, caught up with my friends Susan The Danser and Taj, and went to a meeting of the Abundance League of Denver. Most enjoyable, and a brilliant idea. Check it by clicking the light blue text above!!









Front to back: Melissa, Susan and Taj




Possibility of snow tomorrow.....we'll see what happens and just how far I feel like going.....

-E-

Day Twelve.....

I shoulda realised that there'd be days like this.....

Well, after watching The Weather Channel at the Pagosa Bar on the night of Day Eleven, and being advised by the weathergirl wearing the vacant stare that there was supposed to be a shit-kicker blizzard tomorrow night, putting more than ten inches of snow at Wolf Creek Pass, I had decided that I'd best get to my cabin-ette and TRY to get a SOMEWHAT early start tomorrow morning on Day Twelve.

After a luxurious brekker (French toast with whipped cream and strawberries), hit the road at 12:15pm. Sunny, slightly chilly, but not a bad day to ride. Wolf Creek Pass.....all 10,500-plus feet of it.......was approaching quickly. Saw the sign "Wolf Creek Pass Summit - 8 miles" and gulped nervously. I really had zero idea HOW well the Helix would take this.......

Turns out.....the Helix blew up to the top fairly easily.......but Christ, was it cold!!! GLAD that I had thought better of the idea I had had where I was gonna mail my Carhartt onward to Buffalo once I hit L.A. - figuring that I'm cruising the South, thus, I'd no longer need it and it'd take some weight offa my bike.

GOOD thing I hung on to it...... almost became a Goddamm popsicle at the summit!!



















And THAT, dearest reader(s), is about as good as it would get for Day Twelve.

Entered the San Luis Valley at Del Norte (which, in English, translates to "Norte of the Del"). Now, being a Geographer (don't ask me what a Geographer actually does, but I think that they drift around aimlessly and look at shit.....an' stuff like that), I have the San Luis Valley on my ten most stunning places on Earth list. Problem being, all the times I have experienced it, it was in an automobile......

So?

So, there's this little, teensy, eensy issue called "psychotic-asskicker-killer-wind-from-hell" that tends to waft gentle breezes over the San Juan Mountains and into the San Luis Valley. So pleasant.

Yeah, right.......

....boy, did THAT suck. Especially factoring that, on a GOOD day, the Helix actually weighs 350lbs....factoring MY fat-ass on top of it, we then go to 550lbs.....then, adding all my gear, we is looking at MAYBE 600 lbs. Still ain't enough to fend off the winds of the San Luis Valley. Try it sometime.,...it's really a lot of fun.....ESPECIALLY on a two-lane highway when a 18-wheeler blows by you going the other direction.

I had never openly and verbally cursed at wind before.....until now.

Allright......soooo.....eventually made it through to Salida, and stopped and asked directions to Fairplay, where I'd then continue on Route 285 into the SouthEast part of Denver. Cool......

Well, when you're on a two-wheeled vehicle cruising down the highway, you really tend to spend a LOT of time staring carefully at the pavement in front of you. This is in case you might run into any hazards, such as weird cracks in the asphalt (just LOVELY for your balance), animals running out into the road, Republicans, and so forth. HOWEVER, I happened to be looking a BIT too intently at the road, and thus.....kept going straight at Buena Vista, Colorado, where I shoulda turned right (marked by a sign as large and noticeable as a gnat's ass) to continue on 285 to Fairplay.

Soooo, after cruising about fiddy miles and seeing NOTHING familiar (I'd been to and through Fairplay quite a few times before), I stop at a petrol station dead in the middle of absolute fucking NOWHERE......

"Errrmm.......how do I get to Fairplay.....and.....uhhhh......WHERE am I?"

"Oooooh......Fairplay's back down the road a spell.....go back about fifty miles to Buena Vista, and then make a left onto 285, then go thrity miles, and you'll be there."

"Errmm.....wait: So, I'm NOT on 285 now????"

"Noooooo.....you are on highway 24, about ten miles South of Leadville."

"WHERE the fuck's THAT???"

"Where ya goin' to again, son?"

"Well, I'm TRYING to find my way to Denver, and....."

"OOOOOOOH.....OK. Well, for THAT, ya gotta go North up to Leadville, look for highway 91, then take a left, then go slight right, and follow that road, and it'll take you to Copper Mountain."

"Excuse me?? You mean Copper Mountain the SKI RESORT?"

"Yes, Sir."

It was at this exact moment that I really wanted to let out a literal scream of rage at 170 decibels.....but I didn't wish to scare the hell out of the kind elderly folks who gave me these directions, so I literally bit my tongue.....

Got my handheld back-country GPS out, saw the main roads in the area, and used it to get my ass to Leadville, where I see a sign that says "Highest incorporated city in the U.S.A.". THEN, found Highway 91 using my GPS, then I saw a sign:

"Fremont Pass Summit - 5 miles"

Waaaaaai a minute here! I'm already AT 10,210 feet here in Leadville!!!! Uhhhh......how high can this summit actually BE???

I'd find out - 11,600 feet or so.

So, whilst trying to actually crawl up this thing, the Helix is barely managing 45 M.P.H. and coughing and sputtering. Finally, the carburetor says:

"E.....Dude....listen - pull the fuck over.....we gotta have a speak."

"NOT now, Carb....gotta make it up this summit....."

"No, no.....it isn't an option, E, pull this shit over NOW, or I WILL!!!"

"I don't think so, carb......"

"Oooooh? Jes' fuckin' wait......"

Well, the carburetor was all bluster and no action....as I DID make it over Fremont Pass (snow EVERYWHERE, about 31 degrees and, thank Christ, bone dry roads) got to Copper Mountain, hopped onto I-70 East and headed to Denver. Carb REFUSED to push the Helix over 55 MPH, and I made it to Idaho Springs, about 30 miles West of Denver. WAS gonna just say "Fuck it!!!" and call it quits here and grab a motel, but I called my friend in Denver, agreed to meet at Govnr's Park (a local pub) and he told me about some really nasty-ass looking fronts looking to the West.

I looked up and around: Scary looking clouds both in FRONT of and BEHIND me.

I wanted to go home.....back to Portlandia!

I reeeaaaallllly did NOT need this shit........

Gritted my teeth, slapped my helmet back on and gunned the Helix towards I-70 and down the huge-ass hill into the City of Denver......

Blew straight through the first frontal system (a rainstorm) and, as soon as I got down to around 5700 feet elevation, the Helix SCREAMED to life: "VRRRROOOOOOM!!!!"

Shit......GOTTA remember to do that rich-lean/air-fuel idle mixture adjustment next time I do something as stoooopid as this..,....

Met friends at Govnr's Park for pints and great conversation.

Just been doing nothing but meeting up with close friends here in The Mile-High City for the last couple of days........and Tomorrow (the 15th), I'm off towards Albuquerque, New Mexico

Now, to recap on the ride thus far, click on the map below -










More in a couple days......

-E-

Day Eleven.....
(This one goes to eleven)

After leaving the Avi Casino and Resort outside of Laughlin, I HAD planned originally to hit Flagstaff, AZ and go North to Tuba City to spend the night there for Day Ten.

Figuring that I could swing by the Petrified Forest and the Painted Desert as well as Monument Valley on my way to Pagosa Springs, it'd be a great idea.

Well, there were a whopping three lodging options, and they fell into the following -

Option A) - a place that one review had stated "I wouldn't allow the skunks that roam freely in my backyard spend a night in this dump" (as well as several other negative reviews). Given THAT ringing endorsement, plus a $55 - $70 tab per night.....errrmmmm.......no.

Option B) - A dormitory-type concrete structure where you did get a private room, but there was no smoking allowed at all, and no Internet and you had to share a bafroom. Started at $70 per night.....to which I said: "Dine' (pronounced 'dinn-a'), pul-eeeeze"

Option C )- Was a standard, cookie-cutter, run-of-the-mill Quality Inn....except it trained Dine' students studying in the travel and hospitality field....

.....and they wanted $115 - plus per night. To which I also said: "Dine', PUL-EEEZE!!!!

I has decided to pass on all those lovely options and go thirty miles out of my way and take a rest in Holbrook, Aridzona. There is absolutely NOTHING remarkable about this small town along I-40 whatsoever. Nice people, decent place.....just nothing at all unique, sadly.

Left Holbrook (the family that the town is named after claims actor Hal Holbrook as a cousin of some sort) the morning of Day Eleven and, after about 100 miles, FINALLY was able to git the hell offa the Interstate, at Gallup, New Mexico!

Fucking hell....talk about the town that time forgot and the land of broken dreams where places like "The Route 66 Motel" and "Joey's Diner" lie boarded up with tumbleweeds flickering by. Was grabbing a quick bite at a Taco Hell in Gallup when a man asked to use my cell phone. I said sure, and he called 911, and he told me he was staying at a seriously scary ratty-ass motel across the street and somebody broke into his room and stole his backpack.

Police arrived 45 minutes later.....niiiiiccce........

A good place to leave.....


So, took Highway 666 (the death highway, as it's sometimes referred to, due to the huge number of traffic fatalities from drink-driving accidents) through the eastern end of the Dine' ("Navajo") reservation to Shiprock, New Mexico and a scaled-down version of Monument Valley, but still.....a nice, scenic ride!!

Found it interesting that they screwed up the housing for the Dine' - This picture is shot with me facing NorthEast (East is thee sacred direction where all doors of Dine' houses and hogans must face).......notice the direction that they actually DO face (West) -



















That'd be the Feng Shui equivalent of plastering the number 4 all over your house!!! Cuuuute.........



Got between Durango, Colorado and Pagosa Springs, Colorado when a white pickup truck pulled up next to me at a red light.

"Whoa.....did you actually RIDE that thing all the way from Oregon???"

"Yep.....took a side detour as well to Los Angeles as well!"

"Holy shit!!! WOW.......THAT'S impressive. Be safe....."

All in all.....an easy 320-mile ride. Even though I was still in a desert, because of the chill due to both, a more Northern latitude as well as a higher elevation, I had to wear long pants and my thick hoodie, thus, giving me ample protection against the evil sun.

Swung by the Pagosa Bar (what I was told it's actually called) and hung with the locals. Apparently, they weren't affected by Colorado's retarded smoking ban, as I'd met a couple named Jeff and Cindy, from Scottsdale, Aridzona. They wanted to construct a frisbee golf course on a Pagosa Springs public park. Explained that I wasn't familiar with City of Pagosa Springs Comprehensive Plan nor their Zoning Code as well as compatible uses for parkland and such (Christ.....trying ta git the hell away from planning.....keeps following me!). Explained that I couldn't answer away their concerns during an evening over pints, but gave them some very general universal information and direction and told 'em I'd give 'em a plug -

So, if you are passing through the Pagosa Springs area in Early June - attend the town council meeting and bring signs that state: "I want my disc golf course!!!!"

Found a cute little bunkhouse - cabin-ette room at a motel here in Pagosa Springs. Obviously, no Internet.....but, for once, thass a GOOD thing!!

CN250 NOT liking altitude at all.......carb starting to sputter slightly and skooter starting to hiccup and misfire occasionally.

But then again, I'm above 6500 feet and the carb was precisely calibrated and tuned at zero feet sea level. Plus I.....uhhhh.....kinda put off adjusting the lean-rich idle mixture screw on the carb. Aw well.....maybe another time!

More soon......

-E-