Random Sunday Night blatherings.....

 - HOW'D THE FUCK this guy pass a New York State pistol permit test??


From what I understand (haf never had a need to have a gun and I don't ever see a need during MY lifetime - so I'm not 100% certain HOW these things work), you must have TWO VALID character references (I *THINK* ONE of them must be in Law Enforcement) and a JUDGE HIM-OR-HERSELF must sign off on the pistol permit to validate it!

It's sad - I do remember the days that mental illness was mocked and belittled and ridiculed, and I genuinely hope that this guy gets the help that he needs, but I really don't know if it serves any rational purpose to leave this man out there on the radio talking about how trees in his backyard actually were people send by Andrew Cuomo to spy on him and that certain agencies are using holographic technology to follow him and deceive him.

I'm not at all sure where this retired police office and this engineer guy came from or what their stories are, but it is getting to the point where Tom Bauerle's behavior is making Dale Gribble look like he's making sense by comparison.

Seriously, Entercomm - stop embarrassing the guy......take him off the air for a while and get him the help that he needs......

But, still - tha'd be a great name for a punk band - "Tom Bauerle's Back Yard"


- Interesting HOW deep I hadta dig for this......
NBCnews.com had nothing at all ANYWHERE on the water protector protests in North Dakota, and I really had to dig around CNN.com for this piece - and it more so draws contrasts with The Bundys (Cliven and Ammon - NOT Peg and Al) and their armed takeover of a small Government building on a U.S. Fish and Wildlife Bird Sanctuary as opposed to going into the root causes of the protests near the Sioux Standing Rock Reservation and some of the bizarre developments (like trying to arrest and persecute Any-Fucking-Goodman of "Democracy NOW!!") of this situation.

OK.....fine!  Soooo, what WAS on the first page of major news websites today?

Well, let's see:  NBC had one lone supporter shouting - "JEW-S-A" towards the press pool assembly area at a Drumpf rally in Aridzona and CNN ALSO had this and, as an added bonus, a story about a Seattle Seahawks NFL football player who got a penalty today for hugging a referee on THEIR front page

.......SPEAKING of the NFL......

- ......a strange thing happened on the way to the end zone.....


More later......

-E-

Wanted to touch on this piece briefly -

Sverge.....

Now, I have several Swedish friends, and one of thee few things I regret about leaving the Facebook (and there are a few good things.....but of the few things that are bad about it....well...they are really bad.....but thass fer next post) is that I really wanna hear what they say about this.

ARROGANT? Really..........?

My feelings??

I love Sweden!  The home of Volvo, IKEA, rampant income equality, and so much more!!   But, i'm a bit depressed about their behavior recently and I think it's time we had an intervention on Sweden...

I mean - da fuck's THIS shit???  Really??  Calling Bob-fucking-Dylan's actions "arrogant"??  

Well....let's look at the actions of the Swedish Nobel board and of the Swedish Government in general.....

• Awarded Barrack Obama the Peace Prize, based upon the criteria that he was NOT George W. Bush.  Now, Bushie started war in two different nations based upon lies, and was generally a dick, but what of Barry's drone attacks that have killed countless of CIVILIANS in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Yemen???

• Put pressure on Cambodia to arrest the co-founder of The Pirate Bay website (the Swedes themselves were under intense pressure from both, the Recording Industry Association of America and the Motion Picture Association of America - two of thee shittiest groups of individuals that have walked this Earth).  Shortly after Cambodian police arrest and quickly extradite the Pirate Bay co-founder back to Sweden, Cambodia mysteriously receives an extremely generous aid package from Sweden!!

• The Swedish Government faces allegations that they themselves planted the two women now accusing Wikileaks founder Julian Assange of rape whilst, again, under intense pressure from the United States.  Our other long-time toadie, the U.K., DID have him, but accidentally let him slide into the Ecuadorian embassy!!

There are a few other upsetting things, but I think that you get the point.  People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones....

SO WHAT happened?


.......well, as stated - I got booted from The Facebook.


Yeah, The Facebook has this stupid-ass thing where they boot you off if you use a pseudonym instead of your real name.  Well, I was fine for a while, and I GUESS (most likely this is what happened) that I sent a friend request to somebody who had no clue WHO Kaptin Sinnindebauchery IS in reality, so they thought that it was a spam attempt and reported it.  Facebook messaged me and told me that I had to use my real name.  


I refuse to use my real name on there because:

A)- There are individuals whom I either do not wish to see and/or I'd prefer that they not know where I am.

B ) - I owes, like, ten trillion dollars in student loans......and one of the ways these assholes track you is by looking your real name up on social media!!!  

C)- It's always good to not let current or prospective employers have the ability to look up what you're doing in your life. 

D) - Most importantly, WHAT THE FUCK do THEY need all elements of my identity for??  There really is NO reason that The Facebook needs this information!! 

So, I came up with a totally funny horseshit story about how I there are individuals who would do great harm to my family and myself should they be able to identify and locate me on social media.  They assigned a customer service rep named "Riley" to me and he messaged me back and didn't budge and stated that the rules is the rules and, no, they won't let me use something like my first name and last name initial only.  I THEN gave them links to two different articles talking about how Facebook had publicly stated that they were changing their pseudonym policy because of bullying issues and to protect gay and lesbian and trans-gendered people from bullying and job discrimination and other SPECIAL SITUATIONS!! 

I quoted this to "Riley" and stated - 

"Riley,

Could you please respond "yes" or "no" (or, respectfully, bring on a manager who is authorised to answer) to the two statements below?

1) - So what you are stating is that the Verge article ( www.theverge.com/2015/12/15/10215936/facebook-real-name-policy-changes-appeal-process ) IS NOT accurate and that there HAS NOT BEEN A CHANGE to The Facebook's real name policy?

2) - According to WIKIPEDIA, they state, regarding the name policy of The Facebook: "The site is developing a protocol that will allow members to provide specifics as to their "special circumstance" or "unique situation" with a request to use pseudonyms, subject to verification of their true identities. At that time, this was already being tested in the U.S. Product manager Todd Gage and vice president of global operations Justin Osofsky also promised a new method for reducing the number of members who must go through ID verification while ensuring the safety of others on Facebook." 

IS THIS FACTUAL? Obviously, I have explained SEVERAL TIMES REPEATEDLY to you, Riley, that I DO have a special, unique, and potentially dangerous situation. IF this Wikipedia article IS correct, then WHY are you not allowing me to safely go by a pseudonym????

Riley, CAN you respond YES or NO to the above two statements? After that, we'll discuss how I wish to proceed regarding my account.

Many thanks!"

*click* 

They cut me off and killed my profile.....I think the fact that I pointed out that hypocrisy to them really pissed them off!! 

It really doesn't bother me that much at all.  Facebook and Twitter are pretty much killing legitimate conversation and writing creativity and are incredible time-vampires......my available time to do OTHER stuff has increased exponentially, so i'm not crying in my beer over this.  

I had dumped it totally in October 2015, then my wife said that people were contacting her repeatedly asking about me.....so to spare her the headache, I simply created a new account. 

Sucks that they booted me, but hey.....my free time has gone up exponentially.

Well, I HAD to contact somebody on there regarding a matter and this individual NEVER looked at their E-Mail (many people don't anymore), so I had no choice.

After getting to their acceptable edit screen, I made an addition of a middle name to my account and -*VOLIA* - I was back on and got ahold of the person!

Still, outside of the occasional posting of pics of the kids, I cannot really see myself living on The Facebook as I had in the past.....really seems to bring out an ugly side in people (occasionally, myself included).

So here I am......

-E-


NEXT UP:  'Murica's little bitch!!

IT'S TIME THAT I GIT BACK TO WRITIN'..........

Time to revive the blog from the dead......



- 'bout ta git booted from The Facebook (second time in the past year) for the heinous crime of utilizing an alias whilst posting on there.  I'll 'splane in detail in the next post.

NOT a bad thing, actually, as The Facebook is a colossal time-vampire anyways.....and I'd rather spit out a few paragraffs here after multiple pints then shoot out one-sentence comments on people's posts and copy and share memes that haf been retreaded over-and-fucking-over again, so, here I am:  Deal wiff it!

-E-

Oh yeah, gotta re-start this thing.....

SO, was last talkin' about the trip to The States.

The final night in Vegas at the former Sahara hotel and casino (NOW called "The SLS" or some shit like that)......

Well, after three straight nights of dancin' on top of the bar, drinkin' and gamblin' and such in old Downtown Las Vegas.....I realised that I ain't as young as I used to be!  

Friday around noon, crawled from Downtown (where I had been ensconced for the previous three nights) to the SLS.  Friendly, polite enuff folk at the front desk.  Buncha Millennial Hipsters roaming the hallways, with a smattering of fifty-somethings TRYING to look like neo-hippies....just a weird vibe.

Didn't like it at all....

I jes' don't dig places like this!  If I wanted THIS, I'd be in SouthEast Portland, Oregon or Brooklyn or some shit.....I like my OOOLD-skool, smoky, dingy, granny-playin'-the-slots-with-her-ciggie-in-one-hand-and-her-oxygen-tank-in-the-other types of places!  The Stardust!  The Western!  The El Cortez!!

Thass MY Vegas.....this place sure as hell wasn't....

....but, shit - it was a Friday Night in Las Vegas and I got this place on Hotwire for less than fiddy bucks, sooooo.......

Git my room key and was rudely awakened outta my hungover daze by THEE most bizarre elevators that had the inside walls plastered with photo shoots that look like they were ripped straight outta "Millennial Hipster Weekly" magazine........

......I mean, drinkin' Gin 'n Tonics, smokin' filterless ciggies, rolling dice at the tables at THEE LAST final remaining bastion of old-time Rat-Pack Vegas, The El Cortez....simply enjoyin' life......and then, the next morning, I get assaulted with THIS???
  

Well, after destroying my liver, lungs, and sanity the past three nights, the IDEA of a cigarette, a beer or even SEEING a slot machine just made me physically ill, so I figgered that hiding in my room under the blankets playing on The Interwebs would not be such a bad idea.......

....'cept the Wi-Fi didn't work!The Wi-Fi was nearly non-existent! When it DID work, it CRAWLED. Called the Front Desk about this and waited (literally) 90 minutes for somebody to answer the phone!!  Finally, somebody answered, and they said that they'd send somebody up to my room. 45 minutes later, a very pleasant and polite Beatnik-y looking guy with a beret and goatee (I kid you not) does a quik analysis and tells me the system is overloaded as the hotel is at 100% capacity!! Tells me he's going to file a work order for this tonight!

Damm.......what a hoppin' place THIS must be!  Wonderin' HOW the goddamm casino itself makes any ca$h if everybody's up in their rooms streamin' shit online???

Gave up, decided to crawl into bed to sooth the punishment from the sins of the past three nights, and watch "The Interview" on my Netbook.

Now, when I am deathly hungover straight the fuck outta my skull, EVERYTHING is funny!  Schindler's List would be funny! Shit, one time some years ago, after a particularly harsh night at the Avi Hotel and Casino (located at the point where Nevada meets both, California and Arizona), the next day I went to their cinema inside the casino and watched Harold and Kumar Go To Guantanamo Bay (one of THEE DUMBEST, most idiotic and unfunny films EVER made) and I was so hungover, I pissed myself from laffing so hard [ http://skooter-on-101.blogspot.com/2008/05/day-nine.html ]!!

Sadly, The Interview didn't have that ability!

It was soooo HORRIBLE, I wanted the Goddamm PIRATES THAT I TORRENTED THE MOVIE FROM to PAY ME for my pain and suffering from watching that steaming heap of shit!

Next day, jumped in the car, went to BW-3, ate some shitty, under-cooked wings and caught the flight back to PDX.....

Final thoughts about the trip back to The States in a week or so.....

-E-

VEGA$!!!!!

Gawddamm, I GOTS ta git back to writing.....

In any respect, looking at a 5+ year backlog of University graduates in my genre (INCLUDING several who are holders of graduate school degrees) who have been unemployed ever since getting out of college due to the economic DEpression, and after having sent (NOT exaggerating here) several hunnred resumes and applications over the past few years to various places advertising position openings for which I was either equally qualified or over-qualified for, and getting a grand total of FOUR FUCKING INTERVIEWS outta that stack of hunnreds of resumes and applications shipped out, I had pretty much come to the realization that I'm pretty much stuck in Viet Nam!

I mean, yeah, hell, SURE the economy is creating hunnreds of thousands of new jobs every month as of January, 2015!!

But, do I REALLY wanna try to support a family of four on eight buxx an hour, since that is what the VAST MAJORITY of these new jobs ARE?

Errrmm.......no!

So, with THAT factual reality in mind, I took the hammer to the piggy bank and decided to bring my wife to The States since A) - She's never been there before and B) - She'll most likely never have a chance to go again!

Well, four weeks into the seven week trip,  we've discovered a few things -

• Tam does NOT like being trapped in a car on a road trip for more than three hours MAX!!!!
• Tam cannot eat American food - it is too sugary AND, yet, too salty for her tastes!!  So, it was Asian food on almost every stop on the Western road trip segment of this adventure!
• A disproportionate number of country-western songs that have been manufactured in the past five years seem to talk about a crazy woman or crazy women.......irregardless of whether a man or a woman is singing the song!!  (Got stuck listening to a lotta Country-Western on the radio on the road trip segment, as this is on Tam's new top three list of the best things about The United States, with thrift stores and the friendliness of the people)
• Aridity does weird things to my hair....

Soooo, regarding the car-ride part, I took Tam back to Portland and dropped off the rental car and flew to Vegas myself forra few days!  THEE ORIGINAL loop was supposed to go PDX-Rapid City-Denver-Albuquerque-Flagstaff-Route 66-Las Vegas-Reno-PDX, but after the Portland-to-Rapid-City segment, Tam pretty much declared that she'd had enough!!!!  So, after Denver, we headed back to Portland and I bought a flight to Vegas!

Now, I loves me sum drinkin', smokin' and gamblin' (and, today, it is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE to find places where you are allowed to do ALL THREE AT THE SAME TIME), so I head to Vegas forra few days whenever I come back to The States! Pissing away a few dollars by strategically MILKING THEE LIVING HELL outta the penny machines ensures that I get several free beers and several free nights in the hotel room!

Well, on this trip, we had ended the road trip segment at THEE worst possible time, as Vegas is doing, like, MULTIPLE conventions next week (which is when I am slated to fly there) and that I could only git ONE free room night at my normal hotel and got a cheapie-cheapie rate on two other nights!

SOOOO, THAT left me with one night (Friday night - ALWAYS an expensive bitch in Vegas!!!!!!) to obtain lodging for!

Well, I had cleared up a LOTTA paperwork in The United States that I hadta deal wiff on this trip, so it doesn't look like I'll be back to The States for AT LEAST two, meebee three or four years!  So, I figgered - fuck it!!  Let's splurge!!

So, I rolled dice on Hotwire and was given the old Sahara Hotel and casino at the top of The Strip!  But it wasn't The Sahara anymore!

You see, Vegas totally and radically re-invents itself and its marketing every five years!  In the mid-nineties, it was "Disneyland-In-The-Desert", proclaiming that Vegas IS INDEED VERY FAMILY-FRIENDLY!

THAT went over like a fart in church.....'specially when the casino Corporate conglomerates discovered that.....errrmm......uhhhh......kids really don't gamble that much!

So, then they changed to the risque - "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" (apparently they haven't seen the film "Very Bad Things").....and NOW????

Today??

They are laying OFFA the gamblin' and now pushing Vegas AS AN EXOTIC NIGHTCLUB LOCALE rivaling South Beach for MILLENNIALS!!!

Yep.....thass correct!  (Palm gets slapped to forehead)!

Soooooo.....back to The Sahara!

Well, thee first time I had ever gone to Vegas was when my parents were invited to my cousin's wedding, and I, well, kinda invited myself along for the ride!  Flew from Denver to Vegas and I booked a room in the Sahara!  This was 1998 and I had known NOTHING AT ALL about Vegas!

I had seen apparently thee final gasp of The Sahara's exotic, Moroccan 1950s Rat Pack splendor, as, shortly thereafter, it would re-invent itself into thee shittiest, gaudiest NASCAR-themed dump complete wiff one dollar hot dogs and one dollar Budweisers and would wrap a chain around her grand exterior with a FUCKING ROLLER-COASTER!!

THAT pretty much was so appalling to me, that I hadn't stayed there since!

Well, The Sahara breathed its final breath in 2010!  The structure remained vacant forra few years and had JUST opened up a few months ago as THEE latest and hottest place for Millennials to see and be seen nightclubbing in Vegas!  Some bullshit now called "SLS" or some shit like that!

Did ANYBODY TELL these Einsteins at Vegas Marketing that the 21-30 year-olds are a hunnred grand in student loan debt and have been living in their parents basements for thee past five years??

I'll get ya a report on it when I arrive at the former Sahara on Friday!

THIS should be interesting.....

-E-

For further reading on this topic, I cannot recommend enough an awesome book by Marc Cooper called The Last Honest Place In America 

So much for that.....



AT the last minute on my way out the door this morning, Tam decided that she would like it if I stayed home during this time off.  Being the good boy that I am, I obeyed!

Soooo.....didn't take the ride up to Mong Cai and China.  Just gonna vege in Hai Phong for the next coupla weeks.  Well, I have a ton of books I gots ta catch up on anyways, naw worries!

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Being at least five years behind electronic trends as I am, a buncha friends and I in different geographic locations, are going to attempt to put together a Podcast!  Never done anything like this before and I get the feeling that it's gonna be four drunk guys ranting about politics and sports.  The trial run show is this coming Sunday!

I haf no clue how it is going to be put on The Interweb or any of the technical shit involved, I was just tole that I need Skype or Google Video/Voice/Hangouts, and a headset and microfone!

Soon as I figger out where the trial run of "Hippy Take A Shower!" (thass the name of the podcast) is going to appear online, I'll post it here!

More blatherings on Tuesday!

-E-

Mr. Kitchen Day didn't go so well this year.....


Mr. Kitchen Day (Ông Táo chầu trời) is my favourite holiday in Viet Nam!  I had first learned about it quite by accident, and had gradually figgered out what the story behind it really was (a simple, short, yet funny explanation can be found here).  

So, last year, I began to celebrate it.  I had my mother-in-law buy a big-ass live fish (I *THINK* it was an Asian Carp, 'cause the sonnabitch kept jumping outta the tub filled with water that we had it in) at the street market that she goes to every day, and Tam, Emily and I walked to the lake behind my house and released the fish, in an attempt to appease Mr. Kitchen!

Soooo, this year, given that I NOW KNOW the story, I requested that my mother-in-law buy THREE mid-sized fish for us to release (you know....kinda goes along with the story linked to above about Ông Táo and how there are three people named Gods over this entire incident).

Well, sadly, whilst they were sitting in the bucket all day, one of 'em bought the farm and the other two weren't looking very healthy!  So, at sunset, Tam, Emily, Minh Tuan and I walked to the lack and tossed 'em in.  Dead fishie just kinda floated....the half-dead fishie kinda dropped down to the bottom of the lake like a rock and the other one was fine!  

Hopefully this isn't ominous of the way this approaching Lunar New Year is going to go for me....


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Gonna take my annual Tet road trip tomorrow! Usually, every year shortly after Tet day (THEE first day of the new lunar year), I am granted clemency by the wife to run away from Hai Phong for a few days to escape the all-shops-closed-nothing-moving-SKULLCRUSHING-BOREDOM that IS Hai Phong one week before and one week after Tet day.  For example, last year, Tam actually joined me as we went to Ho Chi Minh City right after Tet and it was extremely therapeutic!

Well, Tam, being extremely traditional, enjoys hanging around the home and hearth during the Tet days, and this year, she is going to do just that! This trip is just going to be a short seven day skooter ride to Mong Cau in the very far northeast corner of Viet Nam and, if time permits, a bus ride to the Chinese city of Nanning forra day or two.  Figger since I begged, screamed, threatened and cried at the Chinese Embassy staff back in November to give me a long-term (or at LEAST a multi-entry) visa, they finally took pity and gave me a TWO-entry visa for China.  This visa expires on the 10th of February.....soooooo....figger that, for what I paid for the Goddamm over-priced visa, may as well git my use outta it!

First day is gonna end at some little tiny-ass town a bit more than halfway between Hai Phong and Mong Cai called Tiên Yên. THIS should be interesting as to if I actually MAKE it, as, the last time I had attempted (than gave up at the town of Cam Pha) this ride, back in 2009, Goddamm Highway 18 was a nearly impassable nightmare due to its being in such shitty shape and total lack of road maintainence (basically crater-sized holes in the road that could swallow a Goddamm CAR!!!)!  SUPPOSEDLY, my buddy Dave from Flagstaff said that HE did the ride from Hai Phong to Mong Cai a year ago and it was generally all right.....so we can only hope they improved the road.


More tomorrow from Tiên Yên.....or wherever the hell I end up!

-E-

Rants, updates, reviews and whatever else.....

HOLY SHIT!  What this poor, devastated crushed young man must have suffered through!  To HELL with the chick - she almost destroyed our proud town's football tradition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They released one of the Steubenville, Ohio rapists today......

.....but, I was just floored about what this kid's lawyer was saying regarding the trials and tribulations and hardships this kid has gone through - while NOT ONE TIME mentioning guilt or sorrow or sympathy for the victim and her family!!

Sometimes, it's people (and there ARE A LOT OF 'EM) that HAVE this sort of entitlement mentality that really make me reconsider if The United States is really a place where I want my children growing up.....and, if they MUST grow up in The States, it just makes home-schooling look better and better.....and I SWEAR I thought I would NEVER EVER make a statement like that EVER (because, in the past, I had always been scared of home-schooling, linking it to wacked-out Libertarians and Branch Davidians)!

READ HIS LAWYER'S STATEMENT UPON THIS ASSHOLE KID'S RELEASE!

It's just truly bizarre.......

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Overall, Chengdu was awesome.  Tam and I both really, really enjoyed the city and we both really got into it!  Now, while we both DO realise that going to a place on a four-day vacation is much different than actually RESIDING there, I have been pretty much dead-on about places that I had initially visited for a few days and then proceeded to live there!  Chengdu gave me that feeling. IF the English Language instruction market in Hai Phong continues to be controlled and skewed in the manner that it has been over the last year-and-a-half, there is a very good possibility that we will end up going to Chengdu (or to possibly another city in Southern or Western China) for the short term.....at least until shit clears up here or the jobs scene in The States finally comes back to something resembling normalcy....

The situation really kinda sucks - I DO wish to return home to The States, and while I encounter frequent bouts of homesickness (ESPECIALLY after the Blizzard of '14 in Buffalo and the entire Polar Vortex thing), there are upsides to being stuck in Hai Phong.  One obvious one being that I can (USUALLY) make a decent living here while I constantly read about the major crisis of the long-term unemployed back in The States (and I DO KNOW some who have been without work for more than six months). The fact that I AM able to work for myself in Hai Phong and not be somebody's little bitch and can avoid amazingly half-assed and sheer and utterly useless regulations that overwhelm any poor soul in The States that tries to make a go of working for him or herself does pay dividends in terms of personal sanity.......

.....but.....yeah.....it ain't home!

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We're in the dead zone right now between Thanksgiving and Tet (Lunar New Year) where everything drops off as everybody just works to save money (Vietnamese so they can really enjoy the forthcoming holiday of Tet and Tây to save ca$h to git the hell OUTTA here during Tet) - so gigs and clients are nearly impossible to come by!

The way that I HAD previously ran things was where private groups of students arranged by a client and business clients were pretty much my bread-and-butter, and I had one single class that I myself owned and operated!  This class was actually a stress-reliever and was always performed for my personal happiness than for any sort of reasonable financial remuneration (I got awesome students in this class)!!  Well, with the English Language instruction market being contorted like it has been in Hai Phong, we all know what happened THERE.

On a brighter note, however.  It seems that I'm getting more and more new students joining this one class, and am going to be opening a second class directly after Tet!  A couple more classes like this set up and thoughts of The States or Chengdu could be only a memory!

Did I ever mention to you just HOW stable freelancing is??

Believe me, it's NOT for the faint of heart, and whilst it IS immensely satisfying working for yourself and taking pride in your own efforts, there truly is something to be said about the simple stability of being somebody else's little bitch and KNOWING that that individual (or group of individuals) is going to toss you a regular and consistent paycheque every week......

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Was at the bar this past Saturday talking to a close friend of mine here from India.  He was INFURIATED (as all of India is) about the entire strip-searching episode of the Indian Consulate worker in New York City.  I had to explain to him that I actually CAN totally understand why what was done was done!  The strip-searching part of it all, though, I really dunno about, but the rest - hell yes!

It had been repeatedly suggested that she simply be contacted and be requested to report to The U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York.  COME FUCKING ON!  After knowingly falsifying a United States Visa application, do you truly believe that she's actually going to SHOW UP?  Her ass would be on the next flight to Delhi!!  It would be explained as a simple "Foreign Ministry Personnel Transfer"!

My friend passionately argued that U.S Embassies and Consulates are United States soil, so that United States laws apply there!  Therefore, since the same holds true for Indian Embassies - the house servant should not have to be subject to United States minimum wage laws and instead should be subject to Indian wage and salary regulations!

Which is a great thesis, 'cept that the house servant would never be allowed to leave the residence of Ms. Khobragade because THEN, said house servant would be OFF OF Indian soil and therefore subject to United States minimum wage laws (so no picking up the dry-cleaning or running errands).  And the purpose of a Foreign Ministry's or Department of State's embassies and consulates is NOT to run an indentured-servant sweatshop!!  I mean, like this house servant could go and grab a bite at McDonald's or pick up a gallon of milk for herself on THREE-DOLLARS-AND-THIRTY-ONE CENTS PER HOUR???  As IF......

Plus, being an International traveler and an ex-pat, there's one thing I discovered:  DON'T FUCK with the VISA!!  It IS thee holiest of holies!  It IS a sovereign nation's identity, and visa fraud is MUCH MORE a psychological blow than an actual economic one to a nation!  I mean, some grandmother lies on a visa application to get her grandkid into The States or some American does a sham marriage to get somebody in....THAT is bad enough!!

But for an employee of a nation's foreign service to do it???  In THAT position and capacity, you just don't pull that kinda shit......ya just don't!

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Trying out for the JEOPARDY ONLINE QUIZ tomorrow.  Apparently, they draw contestants from the pool of those who successfully complete this quiz.  This should be great forra laff, and personally, I'm not expecting anything at all out of it except a chance to sharpen my mad pub quiz skillz!!


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Annnnnnnd......finally, a few VietGlish pics taken from my local supermarket - 



This fone was an amazing machine....but I paid a high sexual price for it!  I just feel so.....so....so....so USED!!




....because, we all know how over-rated Route 66 is!  It's high time that we start to boost Camp Road and the entire Village of Hamburg!  And hats off to Big C in Hai Phong for taking the lead in this endeavor!!

Waaaaai......wait!  You want me to WHAT on WHOSE bed while eating WHAT???



Arrrr......go france yourself!!

More next week......

-E-

The Chengdu Pics.....

Sooooo....less start from the beginning -

Noticed that Al Fresco's in Ha Noi had a Messkin discount program this month (where they put out flyers that said - "Buy One Mexican, Get One Free!").  Went for the "Buy-a-pitcher-of-Margies-get-a-pitcher-free" and that made for a nice sleep the night before departure to Chengdu.... 




Tam at The Shamrock, enjoying that traditional Asian favourite dish - "Pie Of The Shepherd".....

Shortly thereafter, "Lisa" at The Shamrock gave us directions to an optical shop just down the street, where Tam was set up by her new best friend from South Viet Nam with a pair of sexy nerd glasses.....she decided to celebrate by provocatively eating a cherry.....

Now, with clear vision restored, I treated Tam to some gamblin' at The China Welfare Lottery (no shit - that's really what it is called).  Sadly, we lost and were not deemed eligible for Welfare  :-(

Naw worries, though - we won fifteen bucks at the scratch-off counter at the airport on the way out!!!

.....interesting how their scratch-off games are identical to the ones that we have in The States - 

Tam standing next to a large Native American statue at Global Centre

Global Centre and the surrounding buildings were just MASSIVE.....just insane!  Here is a Chinese bank office building in front of Global Centre -



Another Chengdu Mega-Mall with a Mega-Lo-Mart inside it.  We went in forra joke.....the Mega-Lo-Mart was absolute crap!  Just imagine all of the low-quality, shit merchandise that United States importers rejected at dock-side, and this Mega-Lo-Mart in Chengdu is what you'd have!!  Absolutely scary part was that a lot of the stuff IN that Mega-Lo-Mart was priced HIGHER than the same exact items in The States were.



Really neat looking faux-retro wooden bus that DOES appear to be part of Chengdu's public transit system.  Reeeaaalllly wanted just to hop on one for the hella it, but, I had NOOOOOO clue WHERE we'd end up, so I had thought better of that idea.....



Really clever attachments to slap onto the handlebars of one's skooter during the winter months -




Tam is all smiles as we sit down to enjoy our first-ever authentic Sichuan HotPot......


....truss me on this - by the end of the meal - all smiles would be a distant memory as, again, real Sichuan food is a special kind of pain! Tam did not dip into the translucent grey mild side of the Hotpot enough and, instead, dared to enter the red, nuclear, forbidden side of the HotPot.  She would pay for this decision later.....



China is thee ultimate Nanny State!  Not only do they have a sign warning you to be very careful whilst walking under escalators, but they actually cushion the area just in case you just don't grasp what a large exclamation point in a bright yellow triangle implies......


.....and finally, a series of pictures taken of a poster listing rules and regulations on the tube in Chengdu.

Please feel free to add your own captions to them!  The funniest captions (as judged by a panel of Me, Myself, and I) will win a prize of five thousand Viet Nam Dong per picture


Picture Number One......



THIS green-haired Chinese lad has already punched his ticket for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janerio!  His event??  The three-metre turnstyle hurdles! 



Picture Number Two.....



.....I'm jes' gonna leave this one for y'all to caption......


Picture Number Three.....



Believing the advertising that there would be a real live Japanese Ronan appearing in the Chengdu Subway at the bottom of the escalator today, patrons were saddened and cried when all they witnessed was a fake red-haired Chinese knockoff of a Ronan!!  If you look carefully, the young man at the top-left-ish part of this picture already had LASIX surgery on his right eye performed by a knockoff Chinese Ronan, and wanted no part of this entire situation!

Picture Number Four.....

"For only an additional 30RMB, you too can enjoy all the luxury that The Chengdu Subway has to offer by experiencing our new elegant sleeper-class accommodations!  Spaces fill up quickly, so reserve your bench now!"

Picture Number Five.....



"Ralph Wilson and The Buffalo Bills proudly announce the expansion of their 'International Series' by removing a second home game from Western New York and playing it in Chengdu, China (due to, as Wilson puts it - "An attempt to regionalize our franchise").  Due to a shortage there of suitable practice spaces, The Bills will hold their team drills on The Chengdu Subway!"

Picture Number Six.....

Batman, not impressed with the hygiene of Superman's feet, looks away in disgust!



Hope you enjoyed 'em!

More soon.....

-E-